What A-Rod Should Have Said

You tell lies thinking I can’t see.  You can’t cry ’cause you’re laughing at me.  -The Beatles

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  I was gonna leave this one alone.  Its been covered adnauseum.  Its been covered without pausium.  But like Santa Clausium, I’ll give you this little gift.  Actually my boy Brian Murray will give you this little gift.  He wrote it.  I liked it.  I didn’t want to write about it.   So here it is.  Here’s what A-Rod should have said:     

Watching the circus of the A-Rod Apology Press Conference made me sick and probably Alex too.  If he were a real man, a real Yankee, a real person that Yankee fans want to identify with, Alex would have come to the podium and said:    

Thanks to the fans, the Yankees, my teammates, and members of the press for coming today.  Regarding the article in SI and my steroid use,I apologize to no one.  I repeat, no one.  I did not beat my wife, I did not beat my girl friend, I did not rape anyone, I did not aid in a murder, I did not bring a loaded gun to a dance club, I did not accidentally shoot my driver in the chest with a shot gun, I did not drive drunk. 

I gamed the system.  I cheated like you cheat in golf.   There was no penalty. What message does that send?  It’s not really cheating.  It’s practically sanctioned.  Imagine if the SAT, LSAT, GMAT ect had the lax policies of the 2001, 2002, 2003 drug testing.  You’d be looking at doctors and lawyers who cheated their way into Harvard, now with a Harvard medical or law
degree.  If that doctor just saved your life, would you be looking for an apology?

If that’s what you’re looking for, an apology, I suggest you ask Bud Selig for one.  Where were the tests?  Where were the penalties?  The education programs?   Maybe you can ask Donald Fehr.  Fehr had six days to destroy my confidential medical records and those of 103 players he claims to be looking out for.  I ask, where is my apology?

In closing, test me all you want, I welcome it.  Cheer my homeruns, boo my homeruns.  I’m not the problem with drugs in baseball; just a victim of a machine designed to make the money and if any individual gets spotlighted, he will be disavowed.  Thank you.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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