Tinkle, tinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Tinkle, tinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are!
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Barry Bonds’ urine sample. You know what they say. They say one man’s urine is another man’s treasure. At least, I think they say that. They something like that. I know they say, “Some folks piss their name in the snow. Jack Bauer pisses his name into concrete.” But that’s another story for another day. Barry Bonds is today’s story.
Barry Bonds is in for it now. Paying for his sins for it now. Gonna take it on the chin for it now. According to the New York Times, authorities detected anabolic steroids in urine samples linked to Bonds that they gathered in their investigation. Reading the pee leaves. Not cream steroids. Not clear steroids. Something far more Simon Bar Sinister.
When Bonds testified, he said he took the cream and the clear. Thought the cream was merely a rubbing balm for arthritis. You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn’t tell you to put the balm on. Why’d you put the balm on? You haven’t even been to see the doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on. He thought the clear was flaxseed oil. Snake oil’s more like it.
No, investigators may have found the existence of other anabolic steroids in his body. Anabolic steroids Bonds testified under oath he never knowingly used. A testimony that led to his indictment on perjury. A trial on that indictment is set to begin March 2. It’s not looking good for Barry and his pee.
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Barry Bonds, MLB, San Francisco Giants, Steroids
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