David Beckham: My Bodyguard

Photograph.  I don’t want your photograph.  I don’t need your photograph.  All I’ve got is a photograph, but its not enough.  -Def Leppard

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Sean Penn yes, but David Beckham?  Woody Harrelson sure, but David Beckham?  Hugh Grant of course, but David Beckham?  If reports are true, the savior of American soccer is being sued by a disgruntled photographer who was roughed up last month by Becks and one of the soccer star’s bodyguards.   

According to TMZ, Emicles Da Mata claims he suffered serious injury when Beckham reached through the driver’s window and grabbed De Mata’s camera and attempted to wrestle it from him.  Per the suit, Beckham’s bodyguard, Doe 1, employed  “oppressive and despicable” actions which included grabbing the camera and throwing it in a trash can, and then “violently” beating the everloving daylights out of him when he got out of his car to retrieve it.

What kind of name is Doe 1?  That’s like Bambi 1.  Shouldn’t a bodyguard have a tougher name?  How ’bout Ampex 2000?  Oh ya, that’s already taken.  Gorilla 1?  Grizzly 1?  I’m just saying.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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