2008: The Year In Sports

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?  Should auld acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne?  For auld lang syne, my dear.  For auld lang syne.  We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet.  For auld lang syne!

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Wooo doggie!  We got a  r-r-really big shew for you today.  A  r-r-really big shew.  Ahhh 2008.  It was a very good year.  It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls of independent means.  We’d ride in limousines.  It was a very good year.  It was a very good year for blogging, and today, I have the best of the best.  The Year In Sports brought to you by the finest bloogers known to man. 

Up first, he’s 6’5″, 6’9″ with the afro.  What can I say about The Sports Hernia?  He’s been fantastic.  $Four million a year, but he earns every nickel.

Tom Brady:  From a near a perfect season last February to perfecting the art of beard trimming, it’s hard to find a more interesting sports figure this year than Tom Brady.  Has anyone ever played at such a consistently high level and still somehow had the same amount, if not more, attention paid to where their dong is dipping?  Impressive shit.  A fascinating transformation as he seems to have made that last pivotal step to insane superstar level.  All from a guy who went from channeling Andy Dufresne at his first day in Shawshank to embracing his hair like the lost son of Jonathan Antin.  Dude hasn’t played since Week 1 and at the present moment the NFL is experiencing it’s most exciting time of the year, yet we’re still treated to Tom Brady headlines every day.  The only way for the Brady story to become any bigger is if he reveals to a creepily aroused Dan Shaughnessy that he’s been boinking Brett Favre.

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Gary Wyshinski of Puck Daddy comes out every night and shows ‘em what he’s got.  He gets out there on the ice and lets ‘em know he’s there.  He gets that fuckin’ stick in their side.  He let ‘em know he’s there!  He gets that lumber in his teeth.  He lets ‘em know he’s there!

NHL Winter Classic:  The best sports story of the year for the National Hockey League was the League somehow not finding a way to screw up the Winter Classic, despite two opportunities to do so.  Volume One proved hockey-in-a-snow-globe was catnip to casual fans, and was the first positive thing to happen in Ralph Wilson Stadium since Jim Kelly retired.  

Volume Two hasn’t happened as of this writing, but the combination of the Red Wings, Blackhawks and Wrigley Field has proved slightly more compelling than, say, the Florida Panthers and Carolina Hurricanes playing on the infield of Lowe’s Motor Speedway.  On second thought …
 
The NHL needed all the positive press it could muster after the worst story of the year, which was when Gary Bettman decided to make a malcontent player cracking a sex joke to the media into a League — rather than a team — disciplinary concern.  So now we know that insubordinate behavior and claiming your opponents have bedded your “sloppy seconds,” as Sean Avery did, warrants a six-game suspension and mandatory anger management therapy.  Keep that in mind for Chris Pronger’s inevitable ninth suspension.
 
Bettman later claimed that he “wouldn’t want to have to explain” Avery’s remarks to his 12-year-old daughter what he said. Luckily, she was only five when Guy Lafleur became the Canadian spokesman for erectile dysfunction and miracle dick pills.

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This man knows no discretion.  This man has no access.  This man shows no favor.  This man is Dashiell Bennett of Deadspin fame. 

Rock Chalk Jayhawk:  I mention this one only because I knew at the time that everyone would forget about it, and they have.  The defining image of the NCAA basketball championship game in March was Mario Chalmers game-tying three, but the real play of the game — and the one I’ll make a point to always remind people about — was Sherron Collins’ steal and three-pointer.  Without that play, Kansas does not complete their comeback, and I don’t think CBS even showed one replay of it.  It’s usually the little things (the big play, before the BIG play) that make sports interesting for those who pay attention.

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Robert Littal of Black Sports OnLine has been described over the years as a social phenomenon, a broadcaster and crusading journalist who broke the pretty-face, perfect-hair, former-jock mold of network sports personalities with his unique style and delivery. He tells it like it is. 

New York Giants:  By far, the biggest sports story of 2008 was the New York Giants beating the undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl.

To truly understand how great of a story this is you have to look at the irony of the situation.  The Patriots started their dynasty by beating an overwhelming favorite, the Greatest Show on Turf, 2001 Saint Louis Rams.  They were the team that all the working class could relate to.  They were a bunch of outcasts led by a 6th round Quarterback that no one had heard of.  No celebs, no glitz, no glamour just a “team” in every sense of the word.

But, by February 2008, it was like the scripts were reversed.  The Patriots were the team of stars with high price free agents, loads of name recognition and a record breaking offense.  They had gone from heroes to villains.  Accused of cheating, running up the scores and giving a big “F.U.” to anyone who didn’t like the Patriots way.

So, when the Giants came waltzing in with their six losses, a coach that was about to be fired a year before and a QB who the fans were labeling a bust as late as mid season, we all should have seen what was coming.

It was inevitable.  It was destiny.  You think that Eli Manning to David Tyree play happens by chance?  Some things are just meant to be.  The Patriots are still suffering for their sins of the past.

That play and that game were the catalyst for a year that many consider the greatest year in sports ever.

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Rick Chandler.  Deadspin.  Uncle Ricky, could you read us a bed time story please, oh please.  Alright, you kids get to bed I’ll get the story book.  Y’all tucked in?  Heeeere we go…

Sarah Palin:  The best story of the year?  At Deadspin, at least for me, that’s usually whatever story we just posted.  The great thing about blogging sports, as I’m sure you know, is the daily deliveries of fresh hilarity.  The stuff actually writes itself, my job is to not screw it up too much before presenting it to the readers.  Oh, and try to find an equally hilarious photo.

But here’s something that does stand out. I think I enjoyed the Sarah Palin saga a little more than I should have. I’ve always been cautioned, from the earliest days of Deadspin, that sports and politics don’t mix.  And in fact, when I posted that first Palin video from her stint as a sporstcaster in Anchorage, I got a lot of hate mail from folks of the Republican bent.  My lampooning of Ms. Heath (her maiden name) was mild, but the reaction was anything but.  Most played along with the joke, some did not.  Some of the email I received was downright vicious; stuff that would make a Nazi say, “That’s a little extreme.”  I loved that video. And I wrote three or four Palin posts in the aftermath, until a Palin embargo was levied by our managing editor.  Sad, really.

So, since I’m not allowed to write about her on Deadspin, I’ll single out
Mrs. Palin here.  You made 2008 shine, Sarah. You betcha.

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Rush the Court is an American blogger known for his coverage of all things college basketball as well as his style of folksy, down-to-earth commentary and deep voice.

Ken Mink:  The best sports story of the year took place at tiny Roane St. (TN) Community College, where septuagenarian shooting guard Ken Mink proved that you’re never too old to properly execute a head-fake to get the opening and draw the foul.  Mink made national headlines when he was offered a spot on his local team some 52 yrs after he last played college ball at Lees (KY) Junior College, but the better story was when he actually got some run in their first regular season game, juked a defender off of his feet, drew the foul, and dropped in two free throws as if he’d never left the gymnasium.  His two foul shots surpassed the next oldest collegiate basketball player by over twenty years, and gave all of us dopes creeping up on middle age an extra incentive to lace up the sneaks and call “next” regardless of how bad our knees will ache afterwards.

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After the legendary radio combination of Ned Martin and Jim Woods was fired for failing to follow the dictates of sponsors following the 1978 season, Brian Moynahan returned to One More Dying Quail in 1979.

Federer-Nadal:  Here’s a bit of a shocker:  the guy who lives in New Hampshire and follows the Patriots, Red Sox and Celtics, thinks the 2008 Sports Story of the Year is…the ongoing rivalry between Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer?  Is this for real?

Absolutely.  Federer lost in the semis of the Australian Open last January and was crushed in the French Open final by Nadal in June, but it wasn’t until he fell to his Spanish rival in an all-time classic match on the grass surface of the All England Club that it truly sank in: whereas Nadal once owned the rivalry on clay and all other surfaces belonged to Federer, the playing field had now leveled out considerably.

More than Red Sox-Yankees, more than Patriots-Colts, more than Celtics-Lakers, Federer-Nadal is the sports rivalry I’m looking forward to seeing in 2009.  Federer needs the French; Nadal owns clay.  Federer is one behind Pete Sampras’ record 14 Grand Slam singles titles; Nadal is playing better than he ever has.  And more than the on-court stuff is the mutual respect they appear to hold for each other – each knows that his own legacy is tied up in that of the other.  Hands down, Federer-Nadal is my favorite sports story of 2008. 

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Coming to you live from Marcus Vick Blvd.  Sports, movies, beer, girls, entertainment and even a little humor.  Coming to you live, it’s The Big Lead’s own Cousins of Ron Mexico.

Kimbo Slice:  I know it’s not the best story, but as a huge fan of MMA, the biggest non-Cowboy/Yankee/Patriot story of the year has be Kimbo Slice and Elite XC.   Kimbo Slice became the most famous mixed martial artist alive despite the fact that he isn’t very good and will never be remembered by the name his momma gave him (Kevin Ferguson).

All three of EliteXC’s televised cards were circuses and Kimbo Slice was the main attraction.  First he kinda-sorta beat up a walking tomato can with an exploding ear and then he lost to a cross dresser who no one had ever heard of.

It came as no surprise when Kimbo Slice was exposed as a fraud or when EliteXC closed its doors.  When all was said and done, EliteXC  helped bring MMA into the mainstream – even if it was a bastardized version with lots of flashing lights and loud noises.

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And then there’s me.  That old compromisin’, enterprisin’, anything but tranquilizing, right on me!

Boston Celtics:  Did you even have to ask?  Did you doubt it?  Did you doubt it for even one second?  The story I have been waiting an awful long time for.  The return to glory.  Nothing else compares.  I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant but nothing, I said nothing, can take away these blues.  ‘Cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you.

It took thirty years for the Celtics to win sixteen Championships.   It took twenty-two to win this one.  Twenty-two long years since Jerry Sichting ignited a brawl with Twin Tower, Ralph Sampson.  Twenty-two long years since Larry Bird dismantled the Houston Rockets in Game Six of the 1986 Finals.   Twenty-two long, hard years.  Twenty-two Johnny Wadd Holmes years.  Len Bias years.  Reggie Lewis years.   Red Auerbach years.  And here we are.  Here we are, at the top of the world!

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!  Happy New Year!

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