One is the loneliest number. One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. -Three Dog Night
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Not to pile on here, but I’m piling on here. Lions rookie Gosder Cherilus says, “It’s our Super Bowl.” Hey Gosder, are you out of your cotton pickin’ mind? This is no Super Bowl. This is a freakin’ embarrassment. Like my main Fielding Mellish always says, “This is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.”
Super Bowl? I mean, I understand the sentiment. In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo! I get it.
But Super Bowl? I understand 0-16 would be awful. I understand Steve Spurrier and the rest of the ‘76 Buccaneers would be dancing in the streets if the Lions lost this football game. But you can’t call it a Super Bowl when you are 1-22 since the middle of last season. You can’t call it a Super Bowl when you have not won a game since December 23, 2007, when you beat Kansas City. You can’t call it a Super Bowl when you’ve lost sixteen straight and have been outscored 520-260. You can’t call it a Super Bowl when you’re on the verge of breaking the 1981 Baltimore Colts NFL record for points allowed.
Yes, it would be a moral victory if the Lions won this game. But, the Lions are the worst team in football. The Lions just may be the worst franchise in all of sports. To call this a Super Bowl is like putting a silk hat on a pig. I don’t mean disrespect, but that’s the way it is.
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Detroit Lions, NFL
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