Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet. -Rudyard Kipling
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! The NBA Western Conference. I’m sick of hearing it. Every yearing it. Everybody’s Paul Revering it. One if by land, and two if by sea. And I, on the opposite shore will be, ready to ride and spread the alarm. I’m ready to spread the alarm. I’m ready to start a revolution. I’m ready to change the world. I’m ready to tell you that basketball excellence has returned to its proper place. I’m ready to tell you that basketball excellence has returned East.
Best college basketball conference in the country? Big East. Nine teams in the top twenty-five. High school hotbed? East coast baby! East coast. Dexter Strickland, Elizabeth NJ. Lance Stevenson, Brooklyn NY. Dominique Cheek, Jersey City NJ. One two three in the nation. Defying Newton’s law of gravitation. Outta sight like the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. And what about where it matters most? What about in the NBA? Huh? What about there? It’s not even close. The Eastern Conference. The days of the West Coast Bias are over. Greer is putting the ball in play. He gets it out deep and Havlicek steals it!! Over to Sam Jones…Havlicek stole the ball!! It’s all over… It’s all over!!
Yes Virginia, the Lakers are good. Very good. But when you’re done giving Kobe reach-arounds, you know in your heart of hearts, the Celtics are better. If you don’t, you will come Christmas. The East has LeBron and the Cavaliers. And you heard King James. “It’s not a distraction for us— we’re good.” Yes they are. So are the Magic. So is Superman. Superman has sixteen career games with at least twenty points and twenty rebounds. Not only is that the highest figure in the league since Howard made his NBA debut in November of 2004, it is double the next highest total. My goodness! Throw in Deetroit Basketball. Throw in Hot’Lanta. Heck, throw in the Heat. In case you haven’t noticed, Flash is back. Flash is fast, Flash is cool. Francois sez fas, Flashe’ no do.
Who besides the Lakers has a shot in the West? Nobody, that’s who. Maybe CP3. Maybe New Orleans. Just not deep enough. You can Houston Rocket me, but until Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming stay healthy long enough to get themselves out of one single round in the playoffs, I ain’t biting. Portland? Too young. Phoenix? Too old. Dallas? Too soft. My old favorites? The Spurs? Unless they’re playing possum right now, unless this is just the old rope-a-dope right now, they ain’t going jingle, jangle, jingle as they go ridin’ merrily along. Not by a long shot. And look at the bottom of the order. Look at the bottom six of the order. Just atrocious. If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious. Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye!
Boyz II Men, ABC, BBD. The East Coast family. East Coast Basketball, it’s Fan-tastic!
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!
Need More? Atalnta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Chris Paul, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Detroit Pistons, Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, Houston Rockets, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Heat, NBA, New Orleans Hornets, Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns, Portland Trailblazers, San Antonio Spurs, Yao Ming
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