Well she’s my best friend’s girlfriend. She’s my best friend’s girlfriend. But she used to be mine. -The Cars
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Like Savoir Faire, he’s everywhere. Sean Avery is on Deadspin. He’s on the Big Lead. He’s on With Leather. As hard as you try, you just can’t shake him. But all this sloppy seconds talk got me to thinking, yes I do think sometimes, got me to thinking, what are some other sloppy seconds stories? There’s gotta be some, right? Right? You betcha there are and I’m just the guy to give ‘em to ya.
Jason Kidd vs. Jimmy Jackson: Kidd and Jackson never seemed to mesh well on the court, but that’s not where the trouble started. Kidd and Jackson were rumored to have been both schtupping Toni Braxton at the same time. Unbreak my heart. The story goes that Braxton came to a hotel that the Mavericks were staying at to pick up Kidd for a date, but left with Jackson. Yikes! Next thing you know, Jason Kidd is demanding a trade. Next thing you know, Jason Kidd is shipped out to Phoenix. Next thing you know, Toni Braxton is schtupping Curtis Martin. Sloppy thirds?
Gary Leeman vs. Al Iafrate: Gary Leeman and Al Iafrate played together with the Toronto Maple Leafs. Leeman was an All-Star. Al Iafrate had the hardest slapshot of all time. What’s a girl to do. Bang both. Unfortunately she was still married to Al. Then Iafrate and his wife split. Then Leeman and Iafrate’s ex started dating publicly. Then Iafrate’s was promptly traded to the Washington Capitals. Then Iafrate’s good friend and madman John Rambo Kordic beat the ever lovin’ snot out of Leeman.
Mike Kekich vs. Fritz Peterson: We turn now to the seventies. The sexual revolution. Key parties. Wife swapping. Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson played for the New York Yankees. Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson swapped wives. They swapped children. Heck, they even swapped their dogs. The ballplayers and their spouses, had been friends, good friends. Both families lived in New Jersey. Often they all would visit the Bronx Zoo or the shore or enjoy a picnic together. Real cozy like. Too cozy. At some point during the 1972 season, Mike Kekich fell for Marilyn Peterson, and Fritz Peterson fell for Susanne Kekich. Baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn was “appalled.” Kuhn later said he received more mail about the swap than about the American League’s introduction of the DH.
Kobe Bryant vs. Karl Malone: Hey, cowboy, what are you hunting? Just a little while after the Eagle Rock incident, Kobe Bryant had more female problems. 99 problems and a bitch was one two. The Mamba accused the Mailman of making a pass at his wife at a Lakers game. Aye carumba! Bryant: “He was like a mentor, like a brother to me, so when something like that happens, you’re upset, you’re hurt.” Malone: “I’m a basketball player and not a soap opera actor.”
Ryan Grant vs. Larry Johnson: Latoya Graham. Hip hop video model. The girl Larry Johnson struck. They eventually patched that mess up after Johnson got Latoya a place in the Hamptons. Enter Ryan Grant. Enter Ryan Grant all up in shorty’s business. Knocked up in shorty’s business. At least, somebody knocked her up. At this point, we don’t know who. Neither does Larry Johnson’s wife.
Reggie Bush vs. Kim Kardashian: First off, what is Reggie thinking? Didn’t anybody ever teach him, cheat up? Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s reality star, Kim Kardashian is on the verge of a big breakup with her NFL boyfriend of over a year. Apparently, internet bloggers posted a photo of Reggie all hugged up with another girl in New Orleans. Insiders are also saying Reggie has a third girlfriend, who lives in Texas. Allegedly, Bush has put her up in an apartment and keeps her comfortable. I can’t imagine that’s cheating up either. I mean have you seen Kim Kardashian. My goodness!
[pro-player width='455' height='260' type='video']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR8aQCCf60o[/pro-player]
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!