I’m a Public Enemy, but I don’t rob banks. I don’t shoot bullets and I don’t shoot blanks. My style is supreme. Number one is my rank. And I got more power than the New York Yanks. -Public Enemy
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! What a day, what a day! Sox in. Bombers out. One fell swoop. Happy days are here again, the skies above are clear again. So lets sing a song of cheer again. Happy days are here again!
Yes they are, yes they are. The Boston Red Sox are back in the playoffs. Back in the playoffs to retain their crown. Playoffs, baby. Playoffs. Growed folks baseball. Not for the feint of heart. The thrills. The spills. Oh, the humanity!
The Spaceman once said, “There’s nothing in the world like the fatalism of the Red Sox fans, which has been bred into them for generations by that little green ballpark.” Not no more, Bill. Not no more. Curt Schilling changed all that. Dave Roberts changed all that. Big Papi, Manny and Johnny Damon changed all that. Now we’re like Schlitz beer. Now, we go for the gusto.
Went for the gusto last night. Just clinching the playoffs wasn’t enough. The Red Sox clinched a spot in the playoffs by beating world beater Cliff Lee. Cy Young Cliff Lee. 22-3 Cliff Lee. The first time in thirty-five years that a team clinched an appearance in the MLB postseason by defeating a pitcher with at least twenty wins. Yowza! The first time since the A’s clinched the 1973 American League West title with a win over the White Sox and my hometown hero Wilbur Wood.
The Red Sox now have two straight playoff appearances and five in the last six years. The new face of October. Ready to make a run at their third World Series championship in five years. Hoorah! Unless the Red Sox finish 5-0 and Tampa Bay goes 1-4, Boston will play the Angels in the Division Series and I like the Red Sox chances. Pitching wins championships. Pitching most definitely wins short series. The Red Sox have pitching.
- The Red Sox have Boom Boom Becket. In the post season, there is Bob Gibson. There is John Smoltz. There is Curt Schilling. And there is Josh Beckett.
- The Red Sox have Dice-K. Matsuzaka, Matsuzaka, Matuzaka! The new king of old Fenway Pahka! Dice-K. D-Nice. He’s delightful, he’s delicious, he’s delectable, he’s delirious, he’s de limit, he’s deluxe, he’s de-lovely, he’s D-Nice although he hates to admit it, he’s taking out you suckers and you don’t know how he did it. 18-2. Nuff said.
- The Red Sox have Jon Lester. One minute he’s staving off the cancer, the next he’s one of the best young pitchers in the league cracking the 200-inning mark for the season.
- And the Red Sox have Jonathon Papelbon. You can K-Rod me all you want. Pap is the most dominant closer in the game. So send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, your Los Angeles Angels and we’ll drill ‘em in the ass. Pardon my word. Roll Sox, roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Barbara Streisand, Herbert Morrison, Bill Lee, Cole Porter, D-Nice, Emma Lazarus and Pedro Martinez
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Boston Red Sox, MLB
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