The chief part of the stories, however, turned upon the favorite spectre of Sleepy Hollow, the Headless Horseman, who had been heard several times of late, patrolling the country; and, it was said, tethered his horse nightly among the graves in the churchyard. -Washington Irving
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! I can’t help it. The All-Star Game makes me think of him. How can you not think of Teddy Ballgame being wheeled through the 1999 All-Star Game at Fenway Park. Bringing grown men to tears. Tears, I tell you!
Before last night’s All-Star Game, there were highlights of the Splinter. In 1941, he drilled a bomb deep into the right field stands for the winner winner chicken dinner. In 1946, Ted belted two All-Star-Game home runs at Fenway Park. The second off of a Rip Sewell eephus. A Rip Sewell eephus that had never before been taken yard. Ever. Williams drove in five runs and scored four times. Both All-Star Game records.
In the 1950 All Star Game, he fractured his elbow crashing into the Comiskey Park wall while catching a Ralph Kiner fly ball. Played his last All-star Game in 1960. Actually played his last two All-Star Games. That’s right, in 1960, two games were played. One on July 11, and the other on the thirteenth. Williams played in the All Star Game a total of eighteen times. Heck the All-Star MVP Award is named for him.
Ted always said: “A man has to have goals. For a day, for a lifetime. And that was mine, to have people say; ‘There goes the greatest hitter who ever lived.’” The man’s goal was not to have his head chopped off. Chopped off and stuck in a bucket of goo in some Arizona cryonics lab. Like Walt Disney he is frozen. He didn’t sign up for that.
The only publicly known documentation that suggests Ted Williams wanted to be cryonically preserved is on a piece of scrap paper. A piece of scrap paper stained with motor oil and dated Nov. 2, 2000. A piece of scrap paper, stained with motor oil and dated Nov. 2, 2000, that spells out some wacky cryonics pact. Some wacky family cryonics pact that was probably just a practice Ted Williams autograph on a plain piece of paper. A practice Ted Williams autograph that the wacky family cryonics pact had later been added.
Whenever I think of it, it makes me sick. Sick, I tell you! I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Somebody should be ashamed of themself. Downright ashamed.
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six Two and even!
Need More? Boston Red Sox, MLB, Ted Williams
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