Ray Pride Parade

So as sure as the sun will shine, I’m gonna get my share now of what’s mine.  And then the harder they come, the harder they’ll fall, one and all.  -Jimmy Cliff

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  All aboard.  People all over the world, join hands.  Start a love train.  Love train.  Just stop it.       

Enough already.  What are you doin’?  I just said don’t overcook it.  You’re overcookin’ it, bring it over.  Bring it over! It’s like a piece of charcoal!  Bring it over here!  Everybody’s overcookin’ the Rays.  Overbooking the Rays.  Overschnooking the Rays.  I’ve had all I can stands, I can’t stands no more.  

I don’t care they won last night.   I don’t care the Rays held off my beloved Red Sox’ ninth-inning rally.   Held off my beloved Red Sox’ ninth-inning rally to move 1.5 games into first.  This is the Rays we are talking about.  This is one of only four active teams never to have played in a World Series.  This is the only team to have never made it to the playoffs.  This is the team that has finished in last place in every season of their existence.  Except one.  Except in 2004 when they finished fourth.  Now you like them?  You like the new look Rays?  Like my main man Sonny Bunz always says, “Tommy taking over this joint is like putting a silk hat on a pig.  I don’t mean disrespect,  but that’s the way it is.” 

It certainly is.  Raymond Ray will tell you that things have changed.  Raymond Ray will tell you they’re ”not the cute, cuddly D-Rays anymore.”   Raymond Ray will tell you, “We’re the power-of-the-sun, don’t-mess-with-us Rays.”  I’m not biting. 

The Rays are good young team.  That’s it.  They do not have the where-with-all to get the Holiest of Holies.  I understand they have effective starting pitching.  I understand they’re getting power and timely hitting from a fast-improving offense.  I understand they have the Rookie of the Year.  They have Evan Longoria.  Light tower power.  I get it.  I’m still not biting. 

The Rays don’t have experience.  They’re unproven.  When the going gets tough it will be the Sox who get going.  The juggernaut Red Sox.  The sluggernaut Red Sox.  The punch you in the muggernaut Red Sox.  When the going gets tough, the Sox have Manny.  When the going gets tough, the Sox have Boom Boom Beckett.  When the going gets tough, the Sox will have Big Papi.  When the going gets tough, who would you rather have?  Roll, Sox roll!

The Bottom Line               Marc Topkin        Gotham Baseball

Public Acknowledgements:  O’Jays, Raging Bull, Popeye and Goodfellas

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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