Can we actually “know” the universe? My God, it’s hard enough trying to find your way around Chinatown. -Woody Allen
Public Knowledge:
- One small step for man. One giant step for Soxkind. For Bartolo Colon, it was one more start in Triple-A and one step closer to being back in a Major League rotation. Colon threw a brilliant one-hit gem yesterday. He showed excellent command from start to finish. He worked both sides of the plate. He threw fifteen first-strike pitches with his velocity topping out at 95 mph. He’s got a Cy Young Award. And, he’ll be pitching in a big league ballpark near you. Roll Sox, roll!
- I said Chase Utley for MVP. I said Chipper Jones foe MVP. Heck, I say a lot of things. I say this. If Lance Berkman keeps it up, the MVP is his. Yesterday, Lance had two hits. Yesterday, Lance had three RBIs. Yesterday, Lance had a ninth-inning bomb that broke a 7-7 tie and provided the Astros with the winner winner chicken dinner. Berkman did something else yeterday. He stole his seventh base. Tying his total from last year and three off his best mark ever. He’s in the midst of a 14-game hitting streak. He leads the NL in bombs. He leads the NL in base knocks. He would be leading the NL in average at .391 if it weren’t for the torrid Chipper Jones. Welcome. Welcome Lance Berkman to the MVP discussion.
- How ’bout this Brandon Webb character? Nine wins in nine starts this season. My goodness! Filthy sinker. Vile sinker. Like my main Sylvester always says, dithpicable sinker. Think Orel Hershiser. Think Roy Halliday. Think Wally Bunker. Wally Bunker? Mickey Mantle once referred to Bunker’s sinker as the type of pitch “you could break your back on.” You can break your back on Webb’s sinker. He is absolutely killing hitters every time he gets on the mound.
- Chipper didn’t play yesterday. Chipper maintained his gaudy .418 batting average. Chipper has the highest batting average by any big leaguer through his team’s first 40 games of a season since Colorado’s Larry Walker stood at .419 in 1999. Ted Williams head is rolling in its beaker.
- Mets/Yankees tonight and nobody cares.
- Derek Jeter had two hits yesterday. Derek Jeter now has 2,401 hits for his big-league career. Over the last 50 years, only two players were younger than Jeter when they reached 2,400 career hits. Hank Aaron and Robin Yount. I didn’t even realize Derek Jeter was still in baseball.
- Boobie Gibson. No Cavs victory. No spreading out the floor for LeBron. No soup for you! NBA, win or go home. The Cavaliers are going home.
- Papa Bill Remix:
- Jason Giambi wears women’s underwear.
- Yankees still suck. Last place. Ha ha ha!
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Bill O'Reilly, Public Knowledge
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