Public Knowledge

There are few nudities so objectionable as the naked truth.  -Agnes Repplier        

Public Knowledge:

• Rays on the rise.  The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are in first place?  Ahead of the mighty mighty Red Sox?  Ahead of the mighty mighty Yankees?  What’s next?  Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!  Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.  The Rays’ 2-1, eleven-inning win over the Yankees, coupled with Boston’s 5-4 loss at Baltimore, propelled Tampa Bay to the top spot in the AL East last night.  The Rays have won six in a row.  The Rays have won fifteen of their last twenty games.  The Rays have been getting timely hitting and outstanding starting pitching.  I know it’s early, but geez.
• If you talk about one, you gotta talk about the other.  Talk about it, talk about it, talk about movin’.  Funkytown style.  You gotta talk about the Marlins.  This is only the second time that the Marlins and Rays are in sole possession of first place at the same time.  The first time lasted for only a day.  The first time was early in the 2004 season.  The first time the Rays had a 3-1 record and the Marlins had a 3-2 mark.  How long will this one last?  A good question.  Let’s find out.  A One…A two-HOO…A three…Three!  Three licks to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
• Hockey Krishna’s rejoice.  Hockey, hockey.  Krishna. Krishna.  That’s right.  Hockey talk.  How ’bout them Penguins?  Them juggernaut Penguins?  Them sluggernaut Penguins?  Them punch you in the muggernaut Penguins?  Them Penguins are just the fourth team in NHL history to win eleven of their first twelve games in one playoff season.  Them Penguins are in the company of the 1968 and 1976 Canadiens.  Them Penguins are in the company of the 1983 Oilers.  Them Penguins are in the company of Stanley Cup Champions.  Them Penguins are gonna be champions themselves.  And to celebrate, Tony, take it away:

• Chauncey Billups?  Chauncey Billups?  We don’t need no Chauncey Billups.  Without Chauncey Billups, Deetroit Basketball set an NBA playoff record by committing only three turnovers .  Without Chauncey Billups, Richard Hamilton scored thirty-one points last night.  Without Chauncey on Sunday, Hamilton became the first Pistons player to score at least thirty points in a playoff game since he scored thirty-three in Game 6 of the 2006 Eastern Conference semifinals.  You know the game.  The game in which Detroit was eliminated by Miami.  The last Pistons player to record consecutive thirty-point playoff games was, you guessed it, Chauncey Billups, in 2003.
• Stephon Marbury says he can’t wait to play for Mike D’Antoni.  He says he thinks it’s great.  Steph says a lot of things.  Steph said, “How can you not be supportive of Larry Brown being the coach?  He’s one of the best coaches to coach the game.  So for me, that’s a no-brainer.”  Steph said, “I know Isiah and I know he’s an honorable man.  I know that he’s a guy filled with a lot of character, so I think everyone here is on his side.”  What he really means to say is, ” I know it was you Fredo.  You broke my heart.  You broke my heart!” 
• More of the same old same old.  Barry Bonds was charged in a new indictment Tuesday with fifteen felony counts alleging he lied to a grand jury when he denied knowingly using performance-enhancing drugs and that he hampered the federal government’s doping investigation.  I honestly don’t care anymore.  I just don’t care.  Is that wrong?
• All right Celtics.  Jokes over.  Two in a row.  Can we do that?  Huh?  Can we?  I think we can.  With five blowouts in six home playoff games, the Celtics return to the friendly confines of the TD Banknorth Garden.  In going 6-0 on the parquet, they’ve given up an average of only 75.5 points per game and have yet to allow an opponent to shoot better than 41 percent.  It’s not tonight I’m worried about.
• Can we put Spygate to bed now.  Huh?  Can we?  Thank you.  And not for nothing, isn’t this Arlen Specter cat’s interest in this whole thing a little bit ironic.  Isn’t he the cat who proposed legislation that would allow Bush to seek a warrant from a special court for an electronic surveillance program?  A bill that would also grant blanket amnesty to anyone who authorized warrantless surveillance under presidential authority?  I’m just saying.
• Think the Nationals are cheering like a girls’ softball team now?  Nelson Figueroa was designated for assignment Tuesday. 
• Yankees still suck.  Fourth place.  Ha ha ha!

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Need More? Public Knowledge