I feel nice. Like sugar and spice. I feel nice. Like sugar and spice. So nice. So nice. I got you. -James Brown
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! This feel good story just feels gooder and gooder all the time. You know the story. Uncle Ricky, will you read us a bedtime story? Please, huh, please? All right, you kids get to bed, I’ll get the storybook. Ya’ll Tucked in? Here we go…Once upon a time, not long ago, where people wore pajamas and lived life slow…Oh, sorry. Wrong story.
The Josh Hamilton story. Athens Drive High School. Raleigh, North Carolina. Pitcher and outfielder. As a pitcher he was clocked consistently at 95 mph. As an outfielder he was considered the quintessential five-tool player. Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.
With the first overall pick in the 1999 MLB draft, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays select Josh Hamilton. First overall pick ahead of Josh Beckett. Led the rookie league Hudson Valley Renegades. Led them to their first and only New York-Penn League championship. Then there was the car accident. Then there were lingering back and shoulder injuries. Then there were the drugs. Then there were the twenty-six tattoos. More drugs. Suicide attempts. More drugs. Sex and drugs and rock and roll is all my brain and body need. Sex and drugs and rock and roll are very good indeed.
Missed four years of organized baseball to become a coke and crack addict. Now look at him. Take a look at the bad guy. Make way for the bad guy. There’s a bad guy comin’ through! Better get outta his way! Better get out of Josh Hamilton’s way. The Natural drove in four runs last night. The Natural had his thirteenth multiple-RBI game of the season last night. That gives the Natural a major-league leading forty-three base knocks. That gives the Natural the most multiple-RBI games in the show. A lean mean RBI machine.
Last April, he was named the National League’s Rookie of the Month. This April, he was recognized as the American League Player of the Month. He just gets better and better. Marlon Byrd: “Josh is a freak. A phenom. He’s going to do some wonderful things.” He already is, although Josh may disagree. Hamilton: “I just don’t feel like I’ve put everything together yet. I don’t feel like I’ve had a game where I’ve done everything.” Yikes!
The kid already has the skillset of an absolute superstar. Live larges. A big house. Five cars. He’s in charge. Ten years from now, when I’m talking about Josh Hamilton, I’ll be talking about his superstardom. Not the remarkable backstory.
Public Acknowledgements: Slick Rick, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Ian Drury, Scarface, Roy Hobbs and Cypress Hill
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six two and even!
Need More? Josh Hamilton, MLB, Texas Rangers
.jpg){kind=small}
