Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. -Albert Einstein
Public Knowledge:
1. All’s quiet on the Rocket front. Haven’t heard much outrage lately. Haven’t heard much indignation lately. Jose Canseco will meet with IRS Special Agent Jeff Novitzky and other Federal investigators this week in Los Angeles to talk about the party. They’re dancin’ on the ceilin’, they’re dancing’ on the floor. People everywhere comin’ through the door. They know there’s a party goin’ on. Do the dancin’ romancin’ all night long. To talk about the party at Canseco’s house. The party where former trainer Brian McNamee claimed Clemens was introduced to steroids. This ain’t over. Not by a long shot.
2. Dwight Howard’s good. Real good. Howard is on pace to become the NBA’s youngest rebound king. Howard is on pace to become just fifth player to average at least twenty points and ten boards while shooting a nifty sixty per cent from the floor.
Now get this. Dwight Howard had thirteen rebounds last night. 4,010 for his career. He’s the first player to reach the 4000-rebound mark in his first four NBA seasons since Buck “Goggles” Williams grabbed 4,037 boards back in 1985. Pretty good, right. Not bad, right? How ’bout this? To break the all-time record for rebounds over a player’s first four seasons, Dwight would need to grab 4,078 more tomorrow. Yikes! I can’t do nuttin’ for ya man. The Stilt grabbed 8,088 boards over his first four NBA seasons. More than twice as many than your boy Howard. 2,191 more than the runner-up, my boy, Bill Russell. Now that’s good. 20,000 women ain’t bad either.
3. Could this be the season? Could this be the season fantasy baseball owners finally get their money’s worth? Finally get their money’s worth with Ben Sheets. Big Ben has been just filthy so far this year. He outpitched Johan Santana the other day. That’s saying something. So is this. Sheets had not allowed a run in his first 15 1/3 innings this season. Sheets was coming off a five-hit shutout win over the Giants before he surrendered three runs to the Mets in a victory. He has been using a new change-up that he’s been messing around with. Word has it, if he gets a handle on it, it will be a nasty, nasty complement to his biting curveball and mid-90s-mph fastball. Now if he could just stay far, far away from ye olde injury bug.
4. Stupid pitch count. Leo Mazzone would have had none of it. Last night Shawn Chacon was lights out. Boom boom out go the lights! Shawn Chacon allowed only four little singles in eight big innings. But Shaun also threw 109 pitches in those eight big innings and in this new age of baseball that’s all you get.
Leo Mazzone may think, “Pitch counts only talk pitchers into being tired.” Leo Mazzone may think, “If a guy is pitching good, leave him in and if he’s getting his butt kicked, take him out.” Leo Mazzone may think, “If he shows signs of fatigue from what you see with your eyes, not what a number says, then you take him out.” Leo Mazzone may have common sense. Jim Hickey and Cecil Cooper do not. Jim Hickey and Cecil Cooper took the ball out of Chacon’s hands. Jim Hickey and Cecil Cooper put the ball in Jose Valverde’s hands. Smooth move Columbo. Four runs later, Astros lose.
5. Shades of Bernie Carbo. How bout them Sox? How ’bout the Captain? How bout Jason Varitek? Jason Varitek with the winner winner chicken dinner. Jason Varitek with the game-winning pinch hit bomb in the top of the 9th in Cleveland. Jason Varitek with the first pinch-hit bomb by the since Doug Mirabelli had one in the final game of the 2005 season. Before last night, Boston had the longest streak without a pinch-hit homer. That distinction now falls to the Athletics. The Athletics last pinch-hit bomb was hit by Adam Melhouse on Aug. 28, 2006. Not for nothing, the Sox just own the Tribe. Own them I say! Roll Sox, roll!
6. Fantasy owners may want to start thinking in terms. Thinking in terms about John Bowker. Rookie sensation John Bowker. Rookie sensation John Bowker sweeping the nation. Sweeping the nation with his third consecutive multiple-hit game. He’s the first San Francisco baseball Giants player with three consecutive multiple-hit game to start his career since some cat named Mike Schemer had two or more hits in each of his first four career games, in August 1945. Get ‘em while their hot, I always say. John Bowker is hot. Hot to trot.
7. Running Wild. The Minnesota Wild. The Wild racked up twenty-four penalties last night. The Wild racked up ninety-nine penalty minutes last night. I got ninety-nine problems and a bitch ain’t one. Staying out of the box is. You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free. The Wild never got free in their 5-1 loss at Colorado. I know the Wild felt they were out-toughed last season. I know the Wild felt they needed to surround tough guy Derek Boogaard with more tough guys. But when you get guys like Chris Simon and Todd Fedoruk expect some time feeling shame.
8. Worst trade ever. Joe Thornton to the San Jose Sharks for nobody. One lonely Beastie I be. All by myself I got nobody. The Bruins got nobody. San Jose got one of the best players in hockey today. Harry Sinden says “Joe Thornton is a competent player.” Competent? How’s this for competent? Joe Thornton scored the game-winning goal with slightly less than 10 seconds to play in San Jose’s win in Calgary last night. Only two other players in NHL history have scored a game-winning goal, on the road, with 10 or fewer seconds to play in the third period. The Islanders’ Mikko Makela did it in Philadelphia in 1987 and the Flyers’ Eric Lindros did it against the Rangers in New York in 1997. Why can’t we get competent players like Joe Thornton?
9. My Hero:
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!
Need More? Ben Sheets,Boston Red Sox,Dwight Howard,Houston Astros,Jason Varitek,Joe Thornton,John Bowker,Milwaukee Brewers,Minnesota Wild,MLB,NBA,NHL,Orlando Magic,Public Knowledge,Roddy Piper,San Francisco Giants,San Jose Sharks,Shawn Chacon
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