We are family. I got all my sisters with me. We are family. Get up ev’rybody and sing. -Sisters Sledge
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Here we go, Daddy-O! Let’s get ready for the show. I love the Madness. Love it more than Adrian Barbeau. This is it. Tonight’s the night. Stay away from my window. Stay away from my back door too. Disconnect the telephone line. Relax baby, and draw that blind. Ahhh March Madness. The thrills. The spills. Oh, the humanity! So many story lines. So little time. Tiiiiime is on my side. Yes it is. I know. I’m stalling. Stalling when you want basketballing. Here you go.
March Madness: It’s A Family Affair. Like Buffy. Like Jody. Like Uncle Bill. Like Mr. French. Like those folks there. This year’s edition of the NCAA basketball tournament features as many famous family lines as I can remember. Like my main Colonel Potter always says: I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich. These guys have family. These guys are rich. These guys are in the NCAA tournament:
Patrick Ewing Jr. Georgetown: We’ll start with an easy one. You know Patrick Ewing Sr. NBA Hall of Fame Patrick Ewing Sr. You know Patrick Ewing Sr. gave the Georgetown Hoyas a chance to win the whole thing against Big Games James and the UNC Tar Heels. Gave the Georgetown Hoyas a chance to win the whole thing against Big Games James and the UNC Tar Heels up until Fred Brown threw that pass. That horrible pass. You know Patrick Ewing Sr. took the NCAA title with a victory over Phi Slamma Jamma only to be upset the following year in the upset of all upsets. You know Patrick Ewing Sr.
Jeremiah Rivers Georgetown: Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Jeremiah is the son of Boston Celtics’ coach Doc Rivers. Marquette University’s Doc Rivers. While playing assist man for the Human Highlight reel in Atlanta, Doc averaged a double-double for the 1986-87 season, scoring 12.4 points and helping out with 10.0 assists. Doc went on to Coach the Orlando Magic. Coach of the Year with the Orlando Magic. Now he’s coaching the best team in all of basketball.
AJ Price Connecticut: You may not know this one. AJ’s father been dancing. Tony Price been dancing. Come dancing. Come on sister, have yourself a ball. Don’t be afraid to come dancing. It’s only natural. AJ’s father went dancing with Penn. Ivy League Penn. Ninth seeded Ivy League Penn back in 1979. Down goes Iona. Jim Valvano Iona. Down goes number one seed UNC. Down goes Syracuse. Down Goes St John’s. Final Four baby! Final Four. AJ’s father wins Eastern Regional MVP. Do they still do that? But you know what happens next. 1979. Magic Johnson happens next.
Nolan Smith Duke: Nolan’s father is Derek. Derek helped Louisville win the 1980 National Collegiate Athletic Association championship. Denny Crum’s Doctors of Dunk. Darrell Griffith. Rodney McCray. Scooter McCray. Derek Smith. Smith played with Clippers. Smith played with the Kings. Smith played with the Celtics and Sixers. He died of a heart attack back in August of ‘96. This one’s for you Derek.
Stephen Curry Davidson: Dell the Funky Homosapien. That’s right. Dell Curry. The rootinest tootinest shootinest Hornet you ever did see.
Austin Daye Gonzaga: Darren Daye. Darren was a McDonald’s All American who played his college ball at UCLA. He toiled in the NBA for five years and four teams. Ultimately went to Europe. Ultimately played for Scavolini in Italy. Ultimately won a European championship.
Jerai Grant Clemson: Son of Harvey Grant. Nephew of Horace.
Klayton Korver Drake: Brother of Kyle Korver. The hairiest bobblehead of all time.
Ryan Wittman Cornell: Son of Randy Wittman
Marcus Landry Wisconsin: Brother of Carl Landry who sat out of the Rockets game as they got smashed by the best basketball team in the free world.
Curtis Terry UNLV: Brother of Jason Terry. The Jet. Jason and his wife, Johnyika, have four daughters; Jasionna, Jalayah, Jaida and Jasa Azuré. Yikes. Jason has the number 206 tattooed on his chest. It is his hometown area code.
Wesley Matthews Marquette: Son of former Wisconsin guard Wes Matthews.
Ryan Ayers Notre Dame: Son of Randy Ayers. Miami of Ohio. Double-trouble. Double-double on defending national champion Marquette. Double-double in a shocking 1978 upset. I shook the world! Shook Marquette into such a funk that it took Flash Dwyane Wade to shake them out of it. Randy is now an assistant coach with the Washington Wizards.
Daniel Hackett USC: Son of Rudy Hackett. Rudy Hackett led Syracuse to an upset of a Tennessee team that featured Bernard King and Ernie Grunfeld. I’ve heard of King Bernard. I’ve heard of Ernie Grunfield. I’ve even heard of Buddy Hackett. I’ve never heard of Rudy Hackett.
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
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