I’m down in Philly for opening day. See all y’all tomorrow!
Well I’m not dumb but I cant understand why she walked like a woman and talked like a man. Oh my Lola. Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo Lola. -Kinks
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Enough is enough. Barry Bonds. Roger Clemens. But this is just ridiculous. I thought this ended with the East German swimmers. Tammy Thomas. Cyclist. World Champeen cyclist. Tom McVay, a tester for the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, told a jury in U.S. District Court in San Francisco that on March 14, 2002, he was assigned to locate Thomas at and collect a urine sample for a steroid test. Not a job I would want, but hey. It’s a living. Prosecutors have called Thomas a “hard-core” steroid user who underwent a physical transformation while using banned drugs. McVay found this out first hand. Found this out when he knocked on Thomas’ door. “It appeared to be like shaving cream on the left side of her face around her ear.” Yikes. Let Noxema cream your face, so the razor won’t. Dr. Margaret Weirman: “Thomas had a deep voice, full beard, chest hair and even signs of male pattern baldness.” Goodness! That’s no woman, that’s a man, man.
Public Spectacle:
Public Acknowledgements: Lance Williams and Austin Powers
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!
Josh Q. Public: The hardest working man in blog buisness!
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Just a quick one today. A Big Ticket one today. Here’s your ticket. Hear the drummer get wicked. Read More »
One more time. We’re gonna celebrate. Oh yeah, alright. Don’t stop the dancin’. One more time. -Daft Punk
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! First place baby! First place. First place thanks to Mr. Manny Ramirez. Read More »
While we enjoy the Madness, let’s take a moment to reflect on the greatest college basketball team of all time. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the best college basketball team I’ve ever seen. The best college basketball team there’s ever been. Better than Mean Joe Greene. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the 1990 UNLV Running Rebels:
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
The cowboys cry. Ki-yip-pie-yi. Deep in the heart of Texas. -George Strait
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Three big games in Texas. Three big playoff contenders in Texas. Three big wins in Texas. Big Three wins in Texas. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
The Celtics massacred the World Champeen Spurs. The Celtics massacred the red hot Rockets. And last night, the Celtics massacred the Dallas Mavericks. What a game, what a game! Down to the Wire. Omar Little style. Omar: “I’ll do what I can to help y’all. But, the game’s out there, and it’s play or get played. That simple.” The Celtics did the playing last night. Put on a displaying last night. Won going awaying last night. That simple.
It was anyone’s game to win. Ultimately, it was Sugar Ray Allen’s game to win. Threecola! No soup for you! No soup for anyone. After this Texas Three Step, the Boston Celtics are, without a doubt, the favorites to win the NBA Championship. You can King James me. You can Kobe Bean me. Heck, you can even try to San Antonio Spurs me. I ain’t biting. The Celtics just beat the defending champs. The Celtics just stopped the second longest winning streak in NBA history. The Celtics just shut down the offensive juggernaut Mavs. The Celtics just shut down the offensive sluggernaut Mavs. The Celtics just shut down the offensive punch you in the muggernaut Mavs. The Boston Celtics are the best team in the free world. Like Neil Young, they keep on rockin’ in the free world.
Rockin’ with defense. Tracy McGrady called them the best defense he’s ever seen in his eleven years in the NBA. The best defense there’s ever been in his eleven years in the NBA. The best defense since James Dean in his eleven years in the NBA. This is a team that last year went on stretches playing worse defense than Michael Redd. Worse defense than Antawn Jamison. Worse defense than Troy Hudson. This year, the Celtics are ranked number one in the National Basketball Association in points allowed. This year, the Celtics are ranked number one in the National Basketball Association in opponents field goal percentage. This year, the Celtics are ranked number one in the National Basketball Association in opponents three-point field goal percentage. This year, the Celtics are ranked number one in the National Basketball Association in point differential. What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers.
What does it take to be number one? Tom Thibodeau. That’s what. Tom Thibedeau, Celtics assistant coach. Tom Thibedeau, defensive guru. Defensive maharishi. Defensive swami. In his seventeen seasons as an assistant, Thibodeau has helped his teams finish in the NBA’s top ten in team defense fourteen times. Yowza! He helped the Rockets rank in the top five in the NBA in scoring defense and field goal percentage defense in all four years he was with the team. Holy cow! In his first year with Houston, Thibodeau helped the Rockets set franchise records in scoring defense and field goal percentage defense. Whoa Nelly! During his tenure with the Knicks, New York set a then-NBA record by holding thirty-three consecutive opponents under 100 points in the 2000-01 season. How about that!
Now, the Celtics under Thibodeau, are suddenly playing defense. Suddenly Susan. Like that boy from INXS, they are playing suffocating defense. Smothering defense. Asphyxiating defense. They are cutting off the penetration. They are contesting every shot. They are trapping in the corners. They are crashing the boards. Rebounding, helping, switching, basically everything that you expect your team to do on defense. Crushing opponents on a nightly basis. Crushing opponents in a town near you. Is New Orleans a town near you? They got next. Lucky them.
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
A buddy of mine sent me this link. I never thought I’d live to see the day somebody used me as a reference. Wikipedia or not. I am footnote number five. “Drew has also been criticized by fans and the media for his perceived lack of effort, leading to nicknames such as ‘D.L. Drew’ or ‘Nancy Drew.’” Thank you JD. Thank you Wikipedia. Thank you Al Gore.
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!
We are family. I got all my sisters with me. We are family. Get up ev’rybody and sing. -Sisters Sledge
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Here we go, Daddy-O! Let’s get ready for the show. I love the Madness. Love it more than Adrian Barbeau. This is it. Tonight’s the night. Stay away from my window. Stay away from my back door too. Disconnect the telephone line. Relax baby, and draw that blind. Ahhh March Madness. The thrills. The spills. Oh, the humanity! So many story lines. So little time. Tiiiiime is on my side. Yes it is. I know. I’m stalling. Stalling when you want basketballing. Here you go.
March Madness: It’s A Family Affair. Like Buffy. Like Jody. Like Uncle Bill. Like Mr. French. Like those folks there. This year’s edition of the NCAA basketball tournament features as many famous family lines as I can remember. Like my main Colonel Potter always says: I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich. These guys have family. These guys are rich. These guys are in the NCAA tournament:
Patrick Ewing Jr. Georgetown: We’ll start with an easy one. You know Patrick Ewing Sr. NBA Hall of Fame Patrick Ewing Sr. You know Patrick Ewing Sr. gave the Georgetown Hoyas a chance to win the whole thing against Big Games James and the UNC Tar Heels. Gave the Georgetown Hoyas a chance to win the whole thing against Big Games James and the UNC Tar Heels up until Fred Brown threw that pass. That horrible pass. You know Patrick Ewing Sr. took the NCAA title with a victory over Phi Slamma Jamma only to be upset the following year in the upset of all upsets. You know Patrick Ewing Sr.
Jeremiah Rivers Georgetown: Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Jeremiah is the son of Boston Celtics’ coach Doc Rivers. Marquette University’s Doc Rivers. While playing assist man for the Human Highlight reel in Atlanta, Doc averaged a double-double for the 1986-87 season, scoring 12.4 points and helping out with 10.0 assists. Doc went on to Coach the Orlando Magic. Coach of the Year with the Orlando Magic. Now he’s coaching the best team in all of basketball.
AJ Price Connecticut: You may not know this one. AJ’s father been dancing. Tony Price been dancing. Come dancing. Come on sister, have yourself a ball. Don’t be afraid to come dancing. It’s only natural. AJ’s father went dancing with Penn. Ivy League Penn. Ninth seeded Ivy League Penn back in 1979. Down goes Iona. Jim Valvano Iona. Down goes number one seed UNC. Down goes Syracuse. Down Goes St John’s. Final Four baby! Final Four. AJ’s father wins Eastern Regional MVP. Do they still do that? But you know what happens next. 1979. Magic Johnson happens next.
Nolan Smith Duke: Nolan’s father is Derek. Derek helped Louisville win the 1980 National Collegiate Athletic Association championship. Denny Crum’s Doctors of Dunk. Darrell Griffith. Rodney McCray. Scooter McCray. Derek Smith. Smith played with Clippers. Smith played with the Kings. Smith played with the Celtics and Sixers. He died of a heart attack back in August of ’96. This one’s for you Derek.
Stephen Curry Davidson: Dell the Funky Homosapien. That’s right. Dell Curry. The rootinest tootinest shootinest Hornet you ever did see.
Austin Daye Gonzaga: Darren Daye. Darren was a McDonald’s All American who played his college ball at UCLA. He toiled in the NBA for five years and four teams. Ultimately went to Europe. Ultimately played for Scavolini in Italy. Ultimately won a European championship.
Jerai Grant Clemson: Son of Harvey Grant. Nephew of Horace.
Klayton Korver Drake: Brother of Kyle Korver. The hairiest bobblehead of all time.
Ryan Wittman Cornell: Son of Randy Wittman
Marcus Landry Wisconsin: Brother of Carl Landry who sat out of the Rockets game as they got smashed by the best basketball team in the free world.
Curtis Terry UNLV: Brother of Jason Terry. The Jet. Jason and his wife, Johnyika, have four daughters; Jasionna, Jalayah, Jaida and Jasa Azuré. Yikes. Jason has the number 206 tattooed on his chest. It is his hometown area code.
Wesley Matthews Marquette: Son of former Wisconsin guard Wes Matthews.
Ryan Ayers Notre Dame: Son of Randy Ayers. Miami of Ohio. Double-trouble. Double-double on defending national champion Marquette. Double-double in a shocking 1978 upset. I shook the world! Shook Marquette into such a funk that it took Flash Dwyane Wade to shake them out of it. Randy is now an assistant coach with the Washington Wizards.
Daniel Hackett USC: Son of Rudy Hackett. Rudy Hackett led Syracuse to an upset of a Tennessee team that featured Bernard King and Ernie Grunfeld. I’ve heard of King Bernard. I’ve heard of Ernie Grunfield. I’ve even heard of Buddy Hackett. I’ve never heard of Rudy Hackett.
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act. -George Orwell
Public Knowledge:
1. Houston Rockets who? Horton hears a what? And I want the rest of you cowboys to know something, there’s a new sheriff in town. And his name is Reggie Hammond. So y’all be cool. Right on. Wooo doggy! How ’bout them Celtics? I’m sick of this West Coast bias. Just look at these Celtics. Mowing down the West. Showing down the West. Quid pro quoing down the West Clarice, quid pro quo. I don’t even know what that means. What I do know is, the Celtics just smashed the defending World Champions from the West. The Celtics just smashed the first place team in the West. The red hot Rockets. They ain’t pretty no more. The Celtics have rolled to a 20-4 record versus the West. 9-4 against the nine teams competing for the playoffs. The Boston Celtics. The best basketball team in the world.
2. March Madness. It’s awesome baby! PTPers. Maalox Mashers. Slap-a-lappers. Dipsy-doo dunkeroo slam-jam-bams, baby! It’s super. It’s scintillating. It’s sensational. And it’s upon us. What would the Madness be without the diaper dandies? Last year it was Kevin Durant and Greg Oden. This year we have Kevin Love. This year we have Kyle Singler. This year we have Eric Gordon. This year we have Blake Griffin. This year we have DeJuan Blair. This year we have Derrick Rose. This year we have the deepest freshman class we’ve seen in a while. Now I like nothing better than a pretty girl smile, and I haven’t seen a smile that pretty in a while.
This year we have OJ Mayo and Michael Beasley. We have OJ Mayo and Michael Beasley Thursday. I can’t wait. I’m so excited. And I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it. I like OJ Mayo. In every class, there’s always one joker who thinks that he’s smarter than me. In this class, that happens to be you. Isn’t it, Mayo-nnaise? Mayo has been smarter than everyone else since the seventh grade. Swishing and dishing since the seventh grade. Swooping and hooping since the seventh grade. Bounding and astounding since the seventh grade.
Things haven’t changed at USC. Leads USC in scoring. Leads USC in assists. Leads USC in steals. Leads USC in threes. Trying to lead USC to the Promised Land. Mister I ain’t a boy no I’m a man. And I believe in a Promised Land. Leading USC to the Promised Land because he had a midseason revelation. A realization. An epiphany. Instead of trying to score all of the time, Mayo began playing the team game. I’ve seen you guys can shoot but there’s more to the game than shooting. There’s fundamentals and defense. Fundamentals and defense are a big reason Mayo and USC have won five of their last six regular-season games. Fundamentals and defense are a big reason Mayo and USC games have positioned themselves for this spot in the NCAA tourney. Fundamentals and defense are a big reason Mayo and USC are looking towards the Promised Land. But there’s somebody blocking Mayo’s way to the holiest of holies.
There’s Michael Beasley. And then there’s that old compromisin’, enterprisin’ anything but traqulizin’. Right on Michael Beasley! Michael Beasley has put together one of the finest seasons by a freshman in NCAA history. Double-double toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Double, double, toil and trouble something wicked this way comes. Michael Beasley registered twenty-six double-doubles. Michael Beasley broke the all-time freshman record set by Syracuse’s Carmelo Anthony in 2003. Michael Beasley will be the consensus number one pick in the draft. He is a beast. Thursday night. Win or go home! Be there!
3. Alexander Ovechkin. The best Capital ever? Better than the Jagrmeister? Better than Olie the Goalie? Better than Bonzai Bondra? This is the second time that The Big O has reached the century mark. Matching the total of 100-point seasons produced by all of the other players in the Capitals’ 33-season history combined! Yowza! Just so you know. Just if you care. Dennis Maruk had 136 points in 1981-82 and Mike Gartner had 102 in 1984-85.
4. Here comes the Suns, doot ooon doootoo. Brooke White style. The Suns earned their fifth straight win last night. Beat Portland 111-98 last night. The Big Cactus had sixteen points and fifteen rebounds last night. Houston Rockets who? Horton hears a what?
5. Quick question. Who was more important to the Nets dominance back when they were dominant, Kidd or K-Mart? Just asking. I think K-Mart. That’s just me.
6. I never heard of Glen Taylor until last night. Much like I never heard of Hank Steinbrenner until George died. Two big mouths. Nobody likes a big mouth. I hate both those cats.
7. Couldn’t happen to a nicer team. DeAngelo Hall to the Oakland Raiders. See number six.
8. Kevin Love will be an excellent pro. Hansboro. I’m not so sure.
9. Yo, Sal, we’re gonna boycott your fat pasta ass. The Boston Red Sox are boycotting the Japan games. The Boston Red Sox decided unanimously to protest MLB’s decision not to extend a $40,000 appearance fee to all team coaches making the trip. Jimmy Hoffa would be proud.
10. How do the Yankees suck? Let me count the ways.
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
.jpg){kind=small}
