Josh Q. Public. For the public, by The Public. Irreverent sports opinion from a Bostonian in New York. The one blog to read, when you are reading more than one. » Read More
By: josh q. public on: Monday, January 21, 2008 @3:36 pm
Are you ready, are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat. Hey, I’m gonna get you too. Another one bites the dust. -Queen
Public Service Announcement: OK here we go! Just another Sunday at the gravel pit. Like seventeen Sundays before it. Every Given Sunday! Yabba dabba doo! Sure Mr. Slate was a little more ornery than usual. But good ole Twinkle Toes Flintstone had a few tricks up his sleeve. Good ole Twinkle Toes Flintstone took care of business as usual. Taking care of business every day. Taking care of business every way. I’ve been taking care of business, it’s all mine. Taking care of business and working overtime.
Kevin Faulk was working overtime. Kevin Faulk has been working overtime for the New England Patriots for nine years now. Kevin Faulk has been working overtime for the New England Patriots for three rings. Kevin Faulk worked overtime for the New England Patriots once again yesterday. Oh, I believe in yesterday. Everywhere you looked yesterday, there was Kevin Faulk. Everywhere Tom Brady looked yesterday, there was Kevin Faulk. Here a Faulk. There a Faulk. Everywhere a Faulk, Faulk. There was Kevin Faulk lined up in the backfield. There was Kevin Faulk lined up in the slot. There was Kevin Faulk lined up at wide receiver. There was Kevin Faulk making big plays. Huge plays. Game winning plays. Diving and rolling for an important first down. Two minutes later a fourteen-yard grab for another first down to seal the deal. Seal-a-meal. The fresh new solution for game storage. Faulk wasn’t the only one working overtime.
The New England Patriots defense put in another yeomanlike effort. As in, Yo man, you ain’t getting in here. Not in my house. Three times the Chargers entered the red zone. Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. Three times the Chargers had to settle for a field goal. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. You don’t score touchdowns against this Patriot team, you don’t win. Period. Exclamation point. You don’t win against these old linebackers. These washed up linebackers. Vrabel, Bruschi and Junior Seau all made key stops on all three red-zone series that all ended in field goals. Ballgame! You don’t win against Bill Belichick either. Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering? I think so Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel.
Bill Belichick worked overtime. Worked overtime and made adjustments. Oh, Tom Brady isn’t having a Tom Bradylike day. Fine. We’ll tighten it up. Brighten it up. Make it righten it up. We’ll give it to Laurence Maroney. We’ll smash you in the mouth. For the second week in a row, Laurence Maroney was a difference-maker for New England. For the second week in a row the Patriots won a playoff game. With two weeks to prepare for the Giants, the Patriots are preparing for Disney Land.
Public Acknowledgements: Hanna Barbera, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Beatles, Goodfellas and Pinky and the Brain
By: josh q. public on: Friday, January 18, 2008 @3:15 pm
You say one love, one life. When it’s one need in the night. It’s one love. We get to share it. It leaves you baby. If you don’t care for it. -U2
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! What a difference a year makes. Last year was the year of the two-headed monster. The year of Orthrus. The year of Chimera. The year of Frank and Stein. It took two to make a thing go right. It took two to make it outta sight. Hit it! Last year was the year of the two back offense. The two attack offense. The two get back Jack offense. Do it again.
Last year, the Chicago Bears featured Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson. Last year, the New Orleans Saints featured the Deuce is Loose and Reggie Bush. Last year, the New England Patriots featured Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon. Last year, the Indianapolis Colts featured Addai a Deer and Dominic Rhodes. Dynamic Duos. Terrible Twosomes. This year? Not so much.
This year it’s all feature backs all the time. All beatchya backs all the time. All Grade A meature backs all the time. Ryan Grant is helping the Packers reach the Super Bowl for the first time in a decade. He’s living the dream. Making folks scream. I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream. In 2005, he spent the entire season on the injured reserve. In 2006, he spent the entire season on the Giants practice squad. This season, he’s making things happen.
Brandon Jacobs is making things happen. Brandon Jacobs is rumbling, bumbling and stumbling his way to make Giants fans soon forget Tiki Barber. He’s big. He’s powerful. He’s fast. Think Eddie George. Think battering ram. Shattering ram. Splattering ram.
In New England there’s another guy. In a pass happy New England Patriots’ offense, Laurence Maroney is hitting the holes. In a pass happy Patriots’ offense, Maroney is running with power. The man of the hour, tower of power, he’ll devour. He’s gonna tie you up and let you understand that he’s not your average man when he gets a football in his hands. Daaaaamn! In a pass happy Patriots’ offense Maroney throws a block here. In a pass happy Patriots’ offense Maroney takes a handoff there. Does whatever it takes. Does whatever it to win football games.
Then there’s the touchdown maker. The shake and baker. The record breaker. The takes the caker. Then there’s LaDainian. Then there’s Maude. That old compromisin’, enterprisin’, anything but tranquilizing. Right on Maude! Right on NFL feature backs. This Bud’s for you.
Public Acknowledgements: Sesame Street, Rob Base & DJ Easy Rock, Steely Dan, Keith Jackson, LL Cool J, Bea Arthur and the King of Beers
By: josh q. public on: Thursday, January 17, 2008 @4:07 pm
Punks jump up to get beat down! -Brand Nubian
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Championship Weekend. And then there were four. This old man, he played four. He played knick-knack on my door. With a knick-knack paddywhack, give the dog a bone. This old man came rolling home. Who’s gonna get the bone? Who’s gonna sit on the throne? That’s what we want to know, from here to Sierra Leone. Who’s gonna come rolling home? Who’s going bowling? Super Bowling. Bowling for Dollars. Candlepins for Cash. Take the skinheads bowling. Take them bowling. All right. Let’s get to this. Like we always knew this. Like Huey Lewis. NFL Championship Weekend.
New York Football Giants at Green Bay Packers
Everybody’s jumping on the cheese wagon. Everybody’s jumping on Ted Stroehmann’s boy. Brett Fav-ruh. Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year. Three-time NFL MVP. The ultimate weekend warrior. He’s got the records. Hit records. Smash records. He’s got a ring. He gets knocked down, but he gets up again. You’re never going to keep him down. He’s not getting up this time. Not against this New York Giants ballclub.
I like this team. Yes, it’s gonna be cold at Lambeau. I get it. The Giants are a cold weather team too. That advantage is slim. Slim Pickens. Yes, the Giants are on the road. I get that too. But, by beating the Cowboys, deep in the heart of Texas, New York continued their remarkable road prowess. Continued their remarkable road prowess with their ninth straight victory away from home. By beating the Cowboys deep in the heart of Texas, New York set a single-season NFL record for most consecutive road wins. Yowza!
They win by playing football the way it’s supposed to be played. Old time football. Eddie Shore football. They commit very few penalties. They commit even fewer turnovers. They pound the ball on the ground with Big Bad Brandon Jacobs. Eli Manning has been efficient just when you needed him most. Plaxico Burress and Amani Toomer match up with the best of them. On defense, they get to the quarterback. They’re not flashy. Not dashy. In the mouth they smashy. Team football. Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit. Team, team, team. No one more important that the other. Welcome to New York Giant football!
San Diego Super Chargers at New England Patriots
I’ve been waiting for this one. Anticipating for this one. Stay right here, ’cause these are the good old days. Good old-fashioned rivalry. Colts/Pats was a nice rivalry. Colts/Pats was a cute rivalry. Brady vs. Manning. All that. But it’s time to take the gloves off with this one. Go all Ogie Ogilthorpe with this one. Punch somebody in the eye with this one.
The Chargers have been doing some gabbing. Igor who? The Chargers have been doing some blabbing. The Chargers have been doing some back stabbing. Back stabbing since the Patriots did the Lights Out Dance on the Super Charger logo one year ago. Know this: You can’t have a signature dance or prop and not expect it to get used against you if things go bad. The Honky Tonk Man knew there was always a chance that somebody would take his guitar and smash it over his head. The Patriots took Shawn Merriman’s guitar and smashed it over his head. The Chargers have been crying ever since. LaDainian Tomlinson’s been crying. Shawne Merriman’s been crying. Igor Olshansky’s been crying. Phillip Rivers’ been crying. And if any of ‘em ain’t crying now, they’re gonna be crying on Sunday.
All the Patriots talk about is their next foe. All the Patriots do is play football games. All the Patriots do is win football games. The Patriots are going to crush the Chargers on Sunday. Remember these three little words. These four little syllables. Brady to Moss. You’re gonna hear ‘em. Again and again. Brady to Moss. Then, Antonio Cromartie will be crying too. Antonio Gates, LaDainian Tomlinson and widdle Phiwip Wivers all have widdle boo boos. All that’s left now is, for New England to solidify their place in NFL history. New England is the best team you have ever seen. The best team there’s ever been. Better than Mats Sundin. It’s just not fair. This is what the Patriots are going to do to the Chargers on Sunday:
Public Acknowledgements: Ed Kilgore, Bob Gamere, Camper Van Beethoven, Something About Mary, Chumba Wumba, Slap Shot, Hoosiers, Carly Simon and Bartstool Sports
By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, January 15, 2008 @2:57 pm
Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greens keeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! -Carl Spackler
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! The Pack is back. Go, you Packers! Go and get ‘em! Go, you fighting fools! Upset ‘em!
Yes, the Pack is back. The Pack is back in the NFC Championships. Back for the first time since the 1997-98 season. It’s the time of the season. When the love runs high. The love runs high for Brett Favre. Everybody’s talking about Favre. Everybody’s squawking about Favre. Everybody’s hawking Brett Favre. And with good cause. After two seasons of toil, double, double toil and trouble. Fire burn, and caldron bubble. After two seasons of that, Favre has had a magical 17th NFL campaign. A memorable 17th NFL campaign. A record breaking 17th NFL campaign. He deserves all the accolades he receives. But so does another guy.
So does Ryan Grant. Ryan Grant did something Saturday. Ryan Grant did something Saturday neither Paul Hornungnor Jimmy Taylor ever did. Ryan Grant rushed for 201 yards in a playoff game. Rushed for 201 yards against the vaunted Seattle Seahawks defense. Shredded the vaunted Seattle Seahawks defense. He’s been shredding vaunted defenses all season.
Grant came to the Packers this season a nondescript running back amongst a myriad of nondescript running backs. When injuries depleted the Packers’ nondescript running game, Grant became the starter. Grant became the man. The man with a plan. And he ran. He ran so far away. He just ran. He ran all night and day.
He ran for 956 yards. Ran for eight touchdowns. Ran for 956 yards and eight touchdowns in 15 regular-season games. In just ten starts. He ran the Packers into the Playoffs. He ran for 201 yards, a Packers playoff record, and three TDs in a Packers playoff win. He lowered his shoulder. And he ran. Ran straight ahead. Earl Campbell style. Straight ahead to the NFC Championship Game. Ryan Grant, giving the Packers hope. Giving them hope to carry on. Lighting up their days. Filling their nights with song. Go, you Packers! Go and get ‘em! Go, you fighting fools! Upset ‘em!
Public Acknowledgements: Zombies, William Shakespeare, Bob Wolfley, Flock of Seagulls and Bob Glauber
By: josh q. public on: Monday, January 14, 2008 @7:57 pm
We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter. -Mark Twain
Public Knowledge:
1. So TO is crying. Crying like a schoolgirl. I’m not biting. I’m still waiting for the other shoe to fall. When things went sour in Ninerland, TO smashed Jeff Garcia. When asked if he thought Garcia was gay, Owens responded: “Like my boy tells me: ‘If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.’ “ TO’s the rat. When things went sour in Iggland, TO smashed Donovan McNabb. TO said that he thought the Eagles would be undefeated if Brett Favre were on the team instead of his own QB, Donovan McNabb. When things were going sour in Cowboyland, TO smashed Drew Bledsoe. He said he felt a better chemistry with Tony Romo than he ever did with the deposed starter Bledsoe. So forgive me if I’m not swallowing these crocodile tears. TO is the worst teammate on the face of this earth. Even if he doesn’t think so: “I’ve always had a good relationship with my QB’s. I always have their back.”
2. Joakim Noah was benched for Sunday’s game against the Hawks. By his teammates. They delivered a unanimous vote after Noah was involved in a confrontation with assistant coach Ron Adams. Good thing Zeke’s not coaching the Bulls. Noah would have played. When Starbury went AWOL for 24 hours last month, the players voted unanimously that Stephon shouldn’t play. But Coach Thomas, in his infinite wisdom, ignored the results.
3. OK, more Knick talk. It’s just so godammed fun. Zach Randolph. Zach Randolph leaves the Trail Blazers. The Trail Blazers are now enjoying there best season in years. Zach Randolph joins the New York Knickerbockers. The Knicks continue their freefall. And all the bad boys are standin’ in the shadows. And the good girls are home with broken hearts. Zach Randolph sits. The Knicks beat the Pistons. Things that make you go hmmm. Addition by subtraction.
4. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. I can’t tell you how much fun it is to blog when your teams are winning.
5. Correct me if I’m wrong. Didn’t the Rocket say he did not know that he was going to be named in the Mitchell Report. Didn’t the Rocket say Mitchell wouldn’t disclose the nature of the allegations to his agents. I coulda sworn that’s what he said. This is what George Mitchell said. Mitchell said he twice sent letters to the Major League Baseball Players’ Association requesting to speak to players who would be mentioned in his report. Mitchell said these letters included the dates of their alleged steroid use and the teams they played for when they allegedly used performance enhancers. Mitchell: “We identified the year(s) during which the alleged use had occurred and the club(s) with which the players were then affiliated. Roger Clemens was one of the players listed in those letters.”
6. How Brett Fav-ruh? Brett Favre was sharp Saturday. Sharp like cheddar, my rhymes are better. Favre came back. Back from the dead. The Blizzard Wizard. The Blizzard Wizard stormed back to a 42-20 playoff victory. There’s nothing I can say about this cat that hasn’t already been said. Yes he’s a chief, he’s a king, but above everything, he’s the most tip top, Top Cat.
7. The Colts lose. I still don’t believe it. I can’t imagine what Colts fans are thinking. They must be waiting to wake from this horrible dream. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.
8. Bill Parcells: “Let’s not get out the anointing oil just yet.”
9. Good-bye Johnny Podres. It will be the 1955 World Series for which Podres always will be remembered. Johnny pitched the Dodgers to their one and only world championship in Brooklyn. He shut out the Yankees, 2-0, in the seventh game of the 1955 World Series. Any man who shuts out the Yankees is a good man. A man who shuts out the Yankees, in the seventh game of a World Series is my hero. So good-bye Johnny Podres. You will be missed!
10. Looks like Roger’s not the only one in trouble. You Been Blinded
By: josh q. public on: Monday, January 14, 2008 @3:51 pm
I’m coming out. I want the world to know. Got to let it show. -Dianna Ross
Public Service Announcement: Ok here we go! Eli’s playing in the NFC Championship Game. Eli Manning will play in his first NFC Championship Game against Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. Who woulda thunk it?
You’ve heard the doubters. The doubting Thomas’. Thomas’ promises. Thomas’ promises Eli Manning is an underachiever. Thomas’ promises Eli Manning is not a leader. Thomas’ promises Eli can’t win the big ones. The big fig ones. Ooey gooey rich and chewy inside. Golden cakie flakey on the outside. You believed them. Why wouldn’t you?
Eli tied for the NFL’s highest total with twenty interceptions during the regular season. Eli had a paltry passer rating of 73.9. Eli had failed to win a playoff game in his previous two trips to the postseason. Turn back Gulliver, you’ll never make it. But the times, they are a-changing.
Eli Manning has completed 32 of 45 passes for 348 yards and four touchdowns in these here playoffs. His postseason passer rating is 123.2. Yowza! He’s achieving now. Joi de vivring now. Got us believing now. Struck me kinda funny. Seems kinda funny, sir, to me. At the end of every hard earned day, people find some reason to believe. Eli gave us a reason to believe yesterday. Third and ten from the Dallas twenty-three, yesterday. Down a touchdown yesterday. Seventeen seconds left in the first half yesterday. Bing! Hits big Kevin Boss for a nineteen-yard gain. Bang! Hits Amani Toomer for a four-yard touchdown. Just like that. Hell yeah! Hey DJ, bring that back! Another thirty-seven yard, fourth-quarter drive, and that’s the ballgame. The ballgame on a drive nobody would have thought Manning could have led earlier in the season. That’s the stuff legends are made. That’s the stuff that shuts up the doubters. The pouters. The down and outers. Hold onto your hats, Eli’s coming!
For the record, older brother Peyton did not win a playoff game or advance to a conference championship game until his sixth NFL season.
Public Acknowledgements: John Facenda, Thomas’ English Muffins, Fig Newtons, The Banana Splits, Bob Dylan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Bruce Springsteen and Ludacris
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