I’m the king of rock, there is none higher. Sucker MC’s should call me sire. To burn my kingdom, you must use fire. I won’t stop rockin’ till I retire. -Run DMC
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Like my main man IDAK Alpha 12 always says: Crush! Kill! Destroy! Crush! Kill! Destroy! All right. Let’s do this. The one you’ve been waiting for. Anticipating for. Roller skating for. From here to the Golden Gating for.
Patriots/Giants. Super Bowl XLII. Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! All I can say to the Giants is this: Give it up. Give it up. Baby give it up. Abandon hope all ye who enter here. Welcome to hell. This game has nothing to do with Eli. This game has nothing to do with Plax. This game has nothing to do with Brandon Jacobs or Ahmad Bradshaw. This game has nothing to do with the Giants defense. Nothing to do with the Giants, period. Nothing at all. This game has everything to do with the New England Patriots. The greatest team to ever roam the planet. The juggernaut Patriots. The sluggernaut Patriots. The punch you in the muggernaut Patriots.
This game has everything to do with Tom Brady. Tom Brady is the best quarterback that has ever been borned. Tom Brady is the King of the post-season. NFL record for most consecutive wins in the post season. Three Super Bowl victories. Two Super Bowl MVPs. Most completions in a Super Bowl game. Tom Brady threw for an NFL record, fifty touchdowns this year. Tom Brady has thrown a paltry eight interceptions this year. Tom Brady has gone deep on everybody. Everybody. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Tom Brady.
The Giants won’t be able to find a prayer in the Bible. I can’t do nuttin’ for you man. Go lean on Shell’s answer man. You jumped out of the jelly into a jam. The best they can hope is for the Patriots to the run the ball. Then, at least the scores will come more slowly. Oh, they’ll still come. Believe you me, they’ll come. Just more slowly.
Laurence Maroney has smash mouthed for 100 yards in four of the last five games. Crash mouthed for 100 yards in four of the last five games. Bash mouthed for 100 yards in four of the last five games. Including back-to-back 122-yard efforts in postseason wins against the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Chargers. Pick your poison. But choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you.
Randy Moss is no false Grail. I wouldn’t choose him. If he’s open, he burns you. If you double him, Wes Welker burns you. Or Donte Stallworth burns you. Or Kevin Faulk burns you. Or Jabar Gaffney burns you. Or Big Benjamin Watson burns you. It’s like walking Papi only to face Manny. Robbing Peter to pay Paul. Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me. The Giants are in trouble all right. Trouble with a capital T. And that rhymes with P. And that stands for Patriots! Titletown, baby! Titletown!
Public Acknowledgements: Lost in Space, KC & the Sunshine Band, The Divine Comedy, Chuck Norris, Out of the Past, Public Enemy, Indiana Jones, Goodfellas and the Music man
Public Spectacle: This is what the Patriots are going to do to the Giants on Sunday:
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!
Need More? Laurence Maroney,New England Patriots,New York Giants,NFL,Tom Brady
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