Patriots: Go Hate Somebody Else

I think of you ev’ry night and day.  You took my heart, then you took my pride away.  I hate myself for loving you.  Can’t break free from the things that you do.  I wanna walk, but I run back to you.  That’s why I hate myself for loving you.  -Joan Jett

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Everybody’s hating the Patriots.  Everybody’s berating the Patriots.  Everybody’s devastating the Patriots.  It just shows to go ya, the world loves a loser.  Soy un perdedor.  I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me? 

Folks sure want to kill the Patriots.  Folks sure want to kill Bill Belichick.  Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?  I think so, Brain, but this time, you put the trousers on the chimp.  Under Belichick, the Patriots have gone 91-37 in eight seasons.  Under Belichick, the Patriots have gone 14-2 in the playoffs.  Under Belichick, the Patriots have gone 3-0 in Super Bowls.  Under Belichick the Patriots have won five straight division titles and six overall.  Yet, he is despised. 

Nobody despised Pete Carroll.  Nobody despised  Pete Carroll when he was jacked and pumped and took a Super Bowl team and ran them into the ground.  Nobody  despised Dick MacPherson.  The jolly Syracuse coach who led the Patsies to an 8-24 record.  Nobody despised Rod Rust.  Rod Rust the bust.  Rod Rust the bust, who led New England to a 1-15 season.  The worst season in team history.  But they despise the Brain.  Go figure. 

What about the Golden Boy?  Every thousand generations, a perfect child is born, a Golden Child.  He has come to rescue us.  What about Tom Brady?  Folks are abhorring him too.  Das boot.  Giselle.  MVP.  Super Bowl MVP.  Most consecutive wins in the post season.  Best quarterback ever.  Hated it!  Two snaps in a circle.  Where was the abhorrence for the folks who should have been abhorred?  Where was the abhorrence for Hugh Millen?  For Tommy Hodson?  For Marc Wilson?  Guys like that there.  Why was there no abhorrence for them?  I guess they just weren’t good enough.  Not good enough to hate. 

The Patriots had always been the loveable losers.  People liked them better that way.  A softer gentler football team.  Most of my life the Patriots have been horrible.  They may be 18-0 now, but it wasn’t too long ago they were 1-15.  In 1990, the New England Patriots were the worst professional football team I have ever seen.  Worst there’s ever been.  Worse than Dentyne.  (Even though it’s good for oral hygiene.) 

They were not detested.  Not second guesseded.  Not so bitterly protested.  In 1990, the Pats had the worst offense and the second-worst defense in the NFL.  The most points they scored in a game were tenty-four.  And that was the first game of the season.  In five games, they scored only one touchdown or less.  They never won at home.  If something bad in the game of football could happen, it happened to those Patriots.  Steve Grogan was in his sixteenth season.  Old and decrepit.  The highlights of the season were off the field. 

First, there was the Lisa Olsen/Zeke Mowatt/Patriot Missle incident.  Then there was the barroom brawl with Irving Fryar and Hart Lee Dykes.  A melee that resulted in an eye injury that would eventually end Dykes’ career.  But no one hated them.  You have to be good to be hated.  This New England Patriots football team is good.  Real good.  Best ever good.  That’s a lot of hate.

Public Acknowledgements:  Beck, Anamaniacs, Eddie Murphy, Men on Film and Bob Ryan

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

PS:  The bouncer who injured Hart Lee Dykes was named William Early.  AKA Geech.  I later worked with the man.

Need More? Bill Belichick, NFL, New England Patriots, Tom Brady