Big Al Jefferson

The Big Man on Campus want the people to chant this.  And I mean this.  If I have to I will get fiendish.  And you will be the main course of a mean dish.  -Chubb Rock

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  We all know Big Al as the other guy.  We all know it was a lopsided trade.  A flopsided trade.  A jokeshop sided trade.  We all know thirteen years of mismanagement left the Wolves with no choice but to trade the Big Ticket last summer.  Trade the Big Ticket for Big Al Jefferson and other assorted castaways. 

So this is the tale of the castaways.  They’re here for a long, long time.  They’ll have to make the best of things.  It’s an uphill climb.  It may be an uphill climb, but Big Al Jefferson is now making a name for himself in Minnesota.  Making fame for himself in Minnesota.  No shame in his game for himself in Minnesota.  

It’s Big Al.  Big Al Jefferson.  Big Al Jefferson, only twenty-two years young.  Leads his team in scoring.  Leads his team in rebounds.  Fifth in the league in rebounds.  Second in the league in double-doubles.  One of only five players in the league to average a double-double in points and rebounds.  Double good.  Come on and double it.  Doublemint.  Doublemint.  Gum!  There’s no single gum like it. 

There’s no one like Big Al either.  Making Wolves‘ fans believe that the Garnett trade may someday be less lopsided than it currently appears.  You saw him last night.  You saw him single-handedly dismantle the once proud New Jersey Nets.  You saw him score forty big points against the once proud New Jersey Nets.  You saw him grab nineteen big rebounds against the once proud New Jersey Nets.  You saw him convert four big free throws in the final eleven seconds to clinch the win.  To cinch the win.  To Grinch the win.  Grinched the win fresh off Grinching another win. 

Grinched another win off of the mighty, mighty Phoenix Suns.  A game that saw Jefferson have a then career-high thirty-nine points and fifteen rebounds.  That was the second time this season Big Al and the Wolves Grinched a win against the mighty, mighty Suns.  The mighty, mighty Suns were beaten back in December by the Wolves when Jefferson had thirty-two points and twenty rebounds.  Big Al is going to be a star in this league. A superstar.  Live large.  A big house.  Five cars.  He’s in charge. 

He’s a massive athlete.  A true post player in this day and age where there are precious few true post players.  He dominates in the post.  He has good footwork and can score anywhere within the paint.  If he wants to get to the hizzy, he’s getting to the hizzy.  Making folks dizzy.  Nobody stops him from getting to the basket.  Nobody!  Nobody puts baby in the corner. 

He has good touch with and decent passing skills.  He understands the game and has a desire to win.  Jefferson is a long shot to be named to the Western Conference All-Star Game team when the coaches’ voting is announced.  That’s a shame.  My tears fall like rain.  But the team’s no good.  You’re no good.  You’re no good.  You’re no good.  Baby, you’re no good.  But Big Al is.  He’s going to be very, very good for a very, very long time. 

Public Acknowledgements:  Cape Cod Times, Jim Souhan, Gilligan’s Island, Wrigley’s, Dr. Seuss, Cypress Hill, Dirty Dancing, Fats Domino and Linda Ronstadt

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Need More? Al Jefferson, Minnesota Timberwolves, NBA