Patriots: Eatin’ Lightnin’ And Crappin’ Thunder

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now.  We’re on the move.  Ain’t no stoppin’ us now.  We’ve got the groove.  -McFadden & Whitehead 

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  What do you have to say for yourselves now?  Huh?  What?  What happened to your blueprint?  The best laid plans of Jags and men often go awry. 

What happened to your three yards and a cloud of dust?  What happened to the slugfest?  The up in your mugfest?  The love is the drug I’m thinking of fest? 

What happened to the Dynamic Duo?  Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor.  The league’s second-most productive duo during the regular season.  Combined for a measly sixty-six yards.  A paltry sixty-six yards.  A pedestrian sixty-six yards.  Smash mouth football?  Hey now, you’re an All Star.  Get your game on, go play.  Who smashed who’s mouth.  Who sews whose socks?  Sue sews Sue’s socks.  Who sees who sews whose new socks, sir?  You see Sue sew Sue’s new socks, sir. 

You saw the Patriots dominate the ground game.  You saw Laurence Maroney rush for 122 yards and a touchdown.   I thought you said Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew would run roughshod all over the Pats.  I thought you said the Patriots’ defense was overrated.  I thought you said, I thought you said, spider, spider, I’m all right spider. 

Looks like you forgot.  Forgot about something.  Forgot that this New England Patriots football team eats lightnin’.  Forgot that this New England Patriots football team craps thunder.  Forgot that you need to score a touchdown every possession.  If you don’t, you lose.  You lose because of a man called Brady.  You lose because of Tom Terriffic.  When there is trouble, I’m there on the double.  From Atlantic to Pacific, they know Tom Terrific! 

Tom Brady did what Tom Brady always does.  Tom Brady played his best football in his biggest football game of the year.  Tom Brady completed 26 of 28 passes.  Tom Brady threw for three touchdowns.  If not for two catchable balls that weren’t caught, Brady would have been perfect.  I won’t fail, I won’t flop.  Stall or stutter, yes I won’t stop.  It takes hard work, to be like this.  You should know, cause I’m a perfectionist.  Tom Brady:  “When they’re open like that, it’s my job to hit them.  They’re open every time.” 

Wes Welker was open.  Benjamin Watson was open.  Jabbar Gaffney was open.  Kevin Faulk was open.  Randy Moss?  Not so much.  He was double and triple teamed all game.  But when you have the NFL’s MVP at the helm, one receiver is not gonna matter much.  He’s done it without Moss before.  He did it without Moss again.  When you have the greatest quarterback whoever roamed the planet at the helm, anything is possible.  19-0 is possible.  A fourth Super Bowl is possible.  A dynasty is possible.  The New England Patriots.  Eatin’ Lightin’ and Crappin’ thunder. 

Public Acknowledgements:  Robert Burns, Roxy Music, Dr. Seuss, Goodfellas, Mickey Goldmill, Jay Mariotti and Run-DMC

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Need More? Jacksonville Jaguars,New England Patriots,NFL,Tom Brady