$124,000,000vechkin!

You’re lovin’ gives me a thrill.  But you’re lovin’ don’t pay my bills.  Now give me money.  That’s what I want.  -Beatles

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  You can call him Alex.  You can call him El Ocho.  You can call him AO.  You can even call him Alexander the Great.  But you doesn’t have to call him Johnson.  You doesn’t haven’t to call him broke either. 

And so, you ca-all me your friend.  But you only want one thing.  And I’ll never see you if I had no loot.  El Ocho’s got loot.  Lot’s of loot.  Lettuce.  Cabbage.  Sharp cheddar.  My rhymes are better.  Dough re mi.  Fabulous moolah.  Buckets of duckets.  $124,000,000 duckets.  $124 million over thirteen years.  And he’s worth it.  Worth every penny. 

Alexander Ovechkin played his first game with the Washington Capitals on October 5, 2005, scoring two goals in a 3-2 victory over Columbus and hasn’t looked back since.  He’s big.  He’s strong.  He’s fast.  He can flat out score.  Think another El Ocho.  Think Cam Neely.  Hall of Fame Cam Neely.  Think a bigger Cam Neely.  A stronger Cam Neely.  A faster Cam Neely.  A flat out scoringer Cam Neely.  Let’s just hope there’s not a bigger, dirtier Ulf Samuelson out there. 

Alexander Ovechkin is special.  You’re so fuckin’ special.  I wish I was special.  But I’m a creep.  I’m a weirdo.  What the hell am I doin’ here?  I don’t belong here.  Ovechkin belongs here.  Just like The Great One and Super Mario belonged here.  Belonged here since he was a rookie. 

Since he was a rookie, an NHL nation turned their lonely eyes to you.  Woo hoo hoo.  Woo hoo hoo.  Number one draft pick in the 2004 draft.  Rookie of the Year in 2006.  In 2006, I saw him score THE goal.  Bill Clement saw it too.  Bill Clement called it ”one of the greatest goals of all time.”  Belmont Mass’ own Paul Mara smashes AO to the ice.  AO slides on his back facing away from the hizzy.  Getting dizzy.  You make me dizzy Miss Lizzy.  The way you rock’n'roll.  Ovechkin, by the grace of God, manages to hook the puck with one hand on his stick and slide it into the net past Brian Boucher.  Heeee shoots, heee scores, heee buys Sam a drink and gets his dog one too!  You knew then and there, you were witnessing what greatness is all about. 

Ovechkin has 130 goals in his 2 1/2 seasons, tied with Atlanta’s Ilya Kovalchuk for most among all NHL players over that span.  Ovechkin has 32 goals this season, helping Washington surge from the league’s worst record to the fringe of the playoff race.  Now, if Washington GM George McPhee would just be given the financial freedom to try to surround this kid with a supporting cast.  If that happens, you’ll be seeing this kid hoisting that giant silver mug for a lot of those thirteen years. 

Public Acknowledgements:  ABC News, Tony! Toni! Tone!, Beastie Boys, Vancouver Sun, Radiohead, Simon & Garfunkel, Beatles and Mike Lange

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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