Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid. -Elton John
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? Woo doggy! Theeeeeee Red Sox win! Down 3-1. Against all odds. Take a good look at me now, ‘cos I’ll still be standing here. And you coming back to me is against all odds. It’s the chance I’ve gotta take. Take a look at me now.
Take a look at the Boston Red Sox. Lookie lookie the Red Sox get the cookie. The world they shookie. I shook up the world! I shook up the world! I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I’m so mean I make medicine sick.
The Red Sox made the Cleveland Indians sick. Dice-K showed his worth and helped the Red Sox reach the World Series for the second time in the past four seasons. Maybe it was redemption. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe the Red Sox are who we thought they were, if you want to crown them crown them. I’m crowning them.
- I’m crowning Manny. He has been much maligned. Much maligned but walked the line. Threw on a line. Threw out Kenny Lofton and scared the bejeezus out of him. Scared him so much Lofton later held at third and refused to score to tie it up.
- I’m crowning Dustin Pedroia. Pedroia’s first career postseason home run made him the first rookie to go yard in an ALCS Game Seven. He joined National Leaguers Andruw Jones and Miguel Cabrera as the third rookie to hit an LCS Game 7 homer. But that’s not all. He tore into a Betancourt fastball for a bases-clearing double in the eighth. That double made him the first rookie to amass five RBIs in an LCS game. He scored three runs, finishing the series with eight runs scored, a new ALCS rookie record. Goodness gracious!
- I’m crowning Boom Boom Beckett. The best big game pitcher I’ve ever seen. The best big game pitcher there’s ever been. The best big game pitcher from here to Abelene.
- I’m crowning Curt Schilling. Even without his bloody sock he gets things done. Doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well. Throwing seven innings of masterful six-hit baseball. When the Saturday night was over, Schilling was 4-0 (1.37 ERA) in five starts with his team facing elimination. Yowza!
- I’m crowning Jonathon Papelbon. The best closer in all of baseball. Entered in the eighth. Entered in the eighth with two on. Entered in the eight with none out. Entered in the eighth and struck out Neanderthal Hafner on three pitches. Got Victor Martinez to ground out. Got Garko to fly to deep center, where Ellsbury made a fabulous running catch near the Boston bullpen.
- I’m crowning JD Drew. Grand Slamming JD Drew. All manning JD Drew.
- I’m crowning Coco Crisp. Starting centerfielder all season. Only to be sat down in games six and seven of the ALCS. Bitter? No way. No shame in his game. Made a spectacular grab. An astonishing grab. A stupendous hustle grab to end the game. Running far to make an over-the-shoulder grab before slamming into the wall. That my friends, is what a baseball player looks like.
This my friends, is what a baseball team looks like. Now it’s time for the Red Sox to tap the Rockies. Roll Sox roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Phil Collins, Muhammed Ali, Dennis Green, Johnny Cash and LL Cool J
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!