Are you ready? Are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat. Another one bites the dust. Another one bites the dust. -Queen
I got my Patriot hoody on today. I’m circling the wagons today. Waving my red white and blue flaggons today. Doin’ a little braggins today. Slaying some dragons today. Hey Patriots. Wanna make all this go away? Huh? Do ya? If you do, if you do, just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep winning ball games. Keep winning ball games in the middle of this shit storm. Keep doing your best Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore impersonation. If I say it’s safe to surf this beach Captain, then it’s safe to surf this beach. I mean, I’m not afraid to surf this place, I’ll surf this whole fucking place! Charlie don’t surf. The Patriots surf. Surfed last night all right. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like… victory. Smells like victory this morning. Huh? Don’t it?
Victory. Victory against public enemy number one. Victory against that Carlton looking touchdown maker. Victory against that Carlton looking record breaker. Victory against that Carlton looking dirty rotten snaker. Mr. Everything. Mr. Nothing. Mr. Nothing, eighteen measly carries. Mr. Nothing, forty-three paltry yards. I don’t hear you running your mouth now. You talk too much. You never shut up. I said you talk too much. Homeboy you never shut up. You talk about people, you don’t even know. And you talk about places, you never go. Like the Super Bowl. Like the AFC Chapionship Game.
The Patriots looked unstoppable last night. Like David Dunn. Unbreakable. Unshakable. Takes the cakable. And they’re gonna have to keep playing like that if they want this whole Signalgate nonsense to end. Hey Randy Moss. Wanna shut up all those nay sayers. Huh? Do ya? Keep doing what you’re doing. Keep doing your best, well, Randy Moss impersonation. Circa 2003. Circa 2003 when Moss became the first wide receiver in history to play more than twelve games while averaging over 100 yards and one touchdown per contest. Yowza! Finishing with 111 receptions for 1,632 yards and 17 touchdowns for the season. Double yowza! Eight grabs for 105 yards last night. Eight grabs for 105 yards including a twenty-three and a twenty-four TD last night. Who’s a punk now?
The San Diego Super Chargers, that’s who. The time has come. You know, we’re shooting for number one. With thunderbolts and lightning, we’ll light up the sky. We’ll give it all we’ve got, and more. With the Super Charger try! They shoulda tried harder. Avis harder. Beat up on the same San Diego Super Chargers who just beat up on the Chicago Super Bowl Bears.
Hey Tom Brady. Sick of your name being sullied? Huh? Are ya? Sick of all those dopes saying that somehow Signalgate tarnishes your legacy? If you are, keep playing the way you’ve been playing. Keep throwing for close to 300 yards a game. Keep throwing three touchdown passes a game. Keep throwing to all your new weapons of mass destruction. Keep throwing to Wes Welker. Keep throwing to Moonshine Moss. Keep beating the ever-loving stuffing out of opposing defenses. Like you did to the Chargers. Like you did to the Jets.
The Jets. Fredo Mangini the rat. Who’s he gonna rat on for yesterday? Who’s gonna pick you up, when You fall? Who’s gonna hang it up, when you call? That team is going nowhere. Who’s he gonna rat on after week fifteen. After week fifteen in Foxboro. After week fifteen in Foxboro when the Jets get humiliated. When the juggernaut Patriots, the sluggernaut Patriots, the snug as a bug in ruggernaut Patriots, take their fifteenth straight win. So Patriots. Wanna make this all go away? Huh? Do ya. Just win baby! Run the table. Circle the wagons. Slay some dragons. See you in Disney Land bitches!
Public Acknowledgements: Apocalypse Now, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Run DMC, The Godfather and The Cars
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Bill Belichick,New England Patriots,NFL,Randy Moss,San Diego Chargers,Tom Brady
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