So put me on a highway. And show me a sign. And take it to the limit one more time. -Eagles
Ok, here we go! I know. I’m insufferable. Can you blame me? Huh? Can you? The Sox have sewn up the division. The Sox have shown up the division. The Sox have blown up the division. So what’s a guy to do? Turn to football for a little while, that’s what. Turn to the best team in football for a little while, that’s what. In a little while. Surely you’ll be mine. In a little while, I’ll be there. In a little while the Patriots will be there. The NFL. This is what it’s all about. This is what the New England Patriots are all about. I know. I know. This is that time of year. The air is a little bit crisper. The air is a little bit cooler. The leaves are still green, but they won’t be for long. Let me tell you ’bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. It’s that time of year when every fan is aglow with the optimism that over the next four-plus months their team will prevail. But those fans are stupid. I am not every fan. I am a New England Patriot fan. My optimism is real. You’re the real thing. Yeah the real thing. You’re the real thing. Even better than the real thing.
Tom Brady is better than the real thing. Tom Terrific. Don’t give me that sore shoulder nonsense. Brady hasn’t missed a game since the 2001 AFC Championship. Unless he’s dead he’ll be out there. Unless he’s dead, he’ll be the best player out there. Unless he’s dead, he’ll be play actioning defenses to death. Precision passing defenses to death. Decision passing defenses to death. Making defenses look silly to death. Brian Urlacher silly. Unless he’s dead, Tom Brady will be spreading the wealth. Spreading it in good heath. Spreading the wealth in good health to a gaggle of weapons. A slew of weapons. A plethora of weapons. You just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.
I know what a plethora is. Randy Moss is a plethora. Donte Stallworth is a plethora. Wes Welker is a plethora. Kelly Washington is a plethora. You don’t believe me? The Patriots just released Crazy Eyes Caldwell. Crazy Eyes led the team with 61 receptions last season. That my friends, is a plethora. Throw in Bony Maroney. Got to know how to pony like Bony Maroney. Throw in Ben Elementary My Dear Watson. Throw them in, that’s on helluva an offense. One helluva an offense.
Yes, Seymour is hurt. Yes, Rodney Harrison has been suspended for the first four games of the season because he violated the league’s substance-abuse program. But just like Arnold, they’ll be back. They’ll be back to join freshly signed Assante Samuel. They’ll be back to join Adalius Thomas. Adalius Thomas fresh off an eleven sack, 106-tackle season. The anchor of the vaunted Baltimore Raven defense. The vaunted Raven defense that allowed a paltry NFL-low average of 12.6 points per game. Now Thomas is the anchor of the vaunted New England Patriot defense. So when you ask me if I’m optimistic, hell yes I’m optimistic. It’s that time of year again. That time of year. The air is a little bit crisper. The air is a little bit cooler. The Patriots are making yet another run at the NFL Championship. The NFL. This is what it’s all about.
Public Acknowledgements: U2, Gary Lewis and the Playboys, Three Amigos and Wilson Pickett
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!
Need More? Adalius Thomas,New England Patriots,NFL,Randy Moss,Tom Brady
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