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Public Knowledge

By: josh q. public on: Friday, September 28, 2007 @3:57 pm

Public Knowledge 

Share your knowledge.  It’s a way to achieve immortality.  -Dalai Lama

Public Knowledge: 

1.  Meet the Mets, meet the Mets.  Step right up and greet the Mets.  Bring your kiddies, bring your wife.  Guaranteed to have the time of your life.  Oh boy!  Jimmy Rollins doesn’t look so silly anymore:  “The Mets had a chance to win the World Series last year.  Last year is over.  I think we are the team to beat in the NL East, finally.”  Remember that?  Now, with one embarrassing loss after another, the Mets’ first-place lead in the NL East has completely vanished.  Voila.  Three games to go.  Three games to go and they’re tied with the Phillies.  The Fighting Phills.  Three games to go and Jimmy Rollins is looking more right every day.

2.  First off, I’m no soccer fan.  Secondly, women’s soccer?  That being said, this story is everywhere.  Savoir Faire is everywhere!  Hope Salo should have started that game.  Hope Salo should have kept her mouth shut.  You do not disparage your team in public.  No matter how right you may be.

3.  Speaking of keeping your mouth shut. Hey Tiki.  We get it.  Enough.

4.  Sox Yankees.  Yankees Sox.  Can we start the playoffs now?  I just can’t wait.

5.  St. Reggie time is here.  St. Reggie time is now.  St. Reggie has been high flying.  Electrifying.  Death defying.  Apple Pying.  He has also been inconsistent.  Deuce is gone now.  It’s up to St.  Reggie now.  Running out of the backfield.  Catching the ball in the flat.  Reversing field on an end-around.  Whatever.  It’s up to St. Reggie to become the Saints’ driving force on offense.  The time is now:

6.  Barry Bonds.  If you’re a veteran team on the cusp of winning something, do you want this cat in your clubhouse?  If you’re a young rebuilding team, do you want this cat in your clubhouse?  The only place I see this dude going is a middling team going nowhere.  Even then, do you want this cat in your clubhouse?  Maybe no one signs him.  Wouldn’t that be something?

7.  Whenever I see Lakers fans asking, “Would you trade Odom for Marion?”, I have to laugh.  I have to laugh, because I’ve outsmarted even myself.  My enemy, my foe, is an animal.  In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal.  And, whenever possible, to look like one.  I’ve gotta get inside this guy’s pelt and crawl around for a few days.  I have to laugh because of course the answer is yes.  Odom is a bum and the Suns would be fools to make that deal.  Fools I say.  The same goes for AK47Shawn Marion is the most unsung player in the NBA not named Paul Pierce.  Without him the Suns go nowhere.

8.  I know I’m a homer.  No question about it.  But still.  Are these New England Patriots the scariest team you’ve ever seen?  The scariest there’s ever been?  Wanna know what’s scarier?  Huh?  Do ya?  Wait ’till Seymour and Harrison get back.  Oh my!

9.  Michael Vick.  Stupid.  Stupid like a fox.  It seems he found a loophole.  If you can show you had a substance abuse issue one year prior to entering custody, you can get up to one year knocked off your federal sentence.  My goodness.  Vick could qualify for this loophole because he failed his recent drug test.  Like my main man Yakov Smirinov always says:  What a country!

10.  Hey ladies.  Here’s the guy for you.  Roy Williams.  The Legend.  I am cheap, I’m a cheap date.  Get you some McDonalds, with some cheese on it and I’m just really cheap, man. I’m very low key, I like to stay home. I  like to go bowling on Monday nights and I go to the casino every once and awhile.  Other than that, you won’t see Mr. Williams out at all.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Rocky Mountain Baseball Fever

By: josh q. public on: Thursday, September 27, 2007 @4:11 pm

Rockies stadium

And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high.  I’ve seen it rainin’ fire in the sky.  I know he’d be a poorer man if he never saw an eagle fly.  Rocky Mountain high.  -John Denverrockies hockey puck

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Lookie, lookie here.  The Colorado Rockies.  Not the Wilf Paiement Rockies.  Not the Chico Resch Rockies.  We’re not talking hockey.  We’re talking baseball.  Pennant chase baseball.  I believe in the Church of Baseball.  The only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.  I believe in the Colorado Rockies.  Day in and day out, the Colorado Rockies have been feeding my soul.  Got a feeling inside.  It’s a certain kind.  I feel hot and cold.  Yeah, down in my soul, yeah. 

Yeah, I got a feeling about these Colorado Rockies.  And unlike the Who, I can explain.  The Rockies are trying to win this thing.  Doing everything they can to win this thing.  They just won ten straight.  Won a franchise-record ten straight to keep themselves tied with the Phillies.  Tied with the Fighting Phills a mere one game back of the Padres in the Wild Card.  But that’s not enough.  Not enough stuff.  They want it all.  They want the Marshmallow Fluff.  Don’t look now, but the Rockies are just two little games behind the D-Backs for the West lead.  Oh my! 

The Rockies have been to the playoffs just once in their fifteen years of existence.  As the Wild Card in 1995.  The Larry Walker Rockies.  The Dante Bichette Rockies.  The Big Cat Rockies.  These 2007 Rockies are a new breed.  Dig the new breed. 

  • Dig BeltinTodd Helton.  Beautiful swing.  Will the Thrill swing.  It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing.  Know this:  Without Beltin’ Todd Helton’s walkoff home run nine days ago, there is no winning streak.  In September, he has batted .402 with 18 RBIs.  Yowza! 
  • Dig Troy Trevor Tulowitzki.  Triple play Troy Trevor Tulowitzki.  Tu-lo-git. Tu-lo-git to quit. Rookie Sensation.  Scaring the nation with his guns and ammunition.  NL Rookie of the Month for August.  Gold Glove candidate.  Leads all rookies in runs, RBIs and total bases. 
  • Dig Matt HolidayMVP!  MVP!  MVP!  Tough guy Matt Holiday.  I am a tuh tuh tuh tuh tough tough guy.  Halo round my head to tough to die.  Strained left oblique muscle.  Strained left oblique muscle during the last week of a stretch of eleven home runs in thirteen games.  He hasn’t got time for the pain. 
  • Dig the Rockies defense.  On their way to the highest fielding percentage in major-league history.  Goodness! 

If you saw Tuesday’s night’s Web Gems, you know what I’m talking about Willis.  Down 6-5.  Andre Ethier.  Flyball.  Deep center.  Cory Sullivan makes the grab.  Rockets the ball to the plate. Yorvit Torrealba blocks home plate.  Tom Nalen style.  Jeff Kent.  Yerrrr out!  Double play.  How about that?  How about this? 

How bout the Rockies bullpen?  The Rockies wouldn’t be in this playoff race without the bullpen’s finishing kick.   He punches like a fucking mule kicks.  Entering Wednesday, Colorado’s relievers had a 2.86 ERA during the streak.  Jeremy Affeldt, Brian Fuentes and Manny Corpas have been pitching out of their minds.  Make no mistakes sports fans, these Colorado Rockies are for real.  Four games remain.  God, I love this game.

Public Acknowledgements:  Denver Post, Bull Durham, The Jam, Cab Calloway, The Clash, Ramones, Carly Simon, Different Strokes, Mel Allen and Mike Tyson

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Mighty Vince Young

By: josh q. public on: Wednesday, September 26, 2007 @2:58 pm

Vince Young Wallpaper

I got so much trouble on my mind.  I refuse to lose.  Here’s your ticket.  Hear the drummer get wicked.  -Public EnemyMighty Vince Young

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  NFL Football.  So here we are.  Here we are now.  Entertain us.  I feel stupid and contagious.  Here we are now.  Entertain us. 

Week three in the books.  Week four coming up.  Like my main Gomer Pyle always says:  Surprise, surprise, surprise!  These Tennessee Titans are good.  Surprise, surprise, surprise!  The Tennessee Titans are real good.  Surprise, surprise, surprise!  Houston Oilers!  Houston Oilers!  Houston Oilers number one!  I know.  I know.  It’s the Titans now.  But that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.  Now does it?  But you get the idea. 

How ’bout them Titans?  How ’bout that Mighty Vince Young?  The Volunteer State’s own little secret.  Listen.  whoa oh, oh.  Do you want to know a secret?  Whoa oh, oh.  Do you promise not to tell?  The Volunteer State’s own little secret was on full display Monday night.   On full display in dazzling Technicolor.   In dazzling Technicolor for the whole entire nation to witness.  Samuel Lapp style. 

The Titans manhandled last year’s feel good story of the year.  Last year’s squeal good story of the year.  This year’s banana peel story of the year.  Bananas.  B-a-n-a-n-a-s.  The Titans are bananas.  The Titans continued their domination over the NFC South.  The Titans have won nine straight games against the NFC South.  The Titans are now 12-1 in their last 13 games against the NFC South.  Can you say playoffs boys and girls?  Sure you can.  Mighty Vince Young can too. 

Make no mistakes sports fans.  These Tennessee Titans are Mighty Vince Young’s team.  VY and his Titans are 10-4 in their last fourteen games.  Eight of those wins coming from behind.  The Titans were nothing without Vince.  Nothing, I say!  Without me, my rifle is useless.  Without my rifle, I am useless.  They ain’t useless no more.  Now they’re winning ball games.  Big ball games.  Important ball games.  Monday Night Football games.  That’s what Mighty Vince does best.  Win big ball games. 

You saw what he did in the Rose Bowl.  You saw what he did last year.  What he did to the New York Football Giants.  The same thing he did to the Trojans.  The same thing he did to the Colts.  The same thing he did to the Texans.  The same thing he did to the Bills.  And so it goes, and so it goes, and so it goes.  But where it’s going, no one knows.  Mighty Vince young does. 

Mighty Vince Young is a quar-ter-back.  Mighty Vince Young is a winner.  He plays bigger than his numbers.  Bigger and deffer.  Bigger and deffer at Madison High School.  At Madison High School where folks said, no way he pulls that junk in college.  Bigger and deffer at UT.  At UT where folks said, no way he pulls that junk in the pros.  Folks were wrong.  Mighty Vince Young pulls that junk wherever he wants.  Mighty Vince Young pulls that junk whenever he wants.  Mighty Vince Young.  The future is now.

Public Acknowledgements:  Nirvana, Beatles, Witness, Gwen Stefani, Full Metal Jacket, Nick Lowe and LL Cool J

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

Public Knowledge

By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, September 25, 2007 @3:30 pm

Jamrcus russell photo 

I love talking about nothing.  It is the only thing I know anything about.  -Oscar Wilde

Public Knowledge: 

1.  Mighty Vince Young.  What a man, what a man, what a man.  What a mighty good man.  Can we please stop the Michael Vick comparisons?  Senator, I served with Mighty Vince Young.  I knew Mighty Vince Young.  Mighty Vince Young was a friend of mine.  Senator, you’re no Mighty Vince Young.  No he’s not.  Vick counted on his legs first.  Young thinks pass first.  If nothing is there, then he’s gone.  Young threw a pair of touchdown passes against last year’s feel good Saints.  Down ten zip, he did what he does best.  He came back.  Came back and won a football game.  Look out for these Titans.  They are looking good.  Pretty, pretty good.

2.  Yankees lose.  Ha ha!  Suckers.  Two games.  Magic number five. 

3.  We are the Bears Shufflin’ Crew.  Shufflin’ on down, doin’ it for you!  The Bears are 1-2.  Rex Grossman is an abject disastah.  He hasn’t tallied a quarterback rating higher than 56.0 in any of the three games this season.  Against the Boys, on Sunday, he put up a paltry passer mark of 27.5.  27.5, yikes!  And that was only the fifth-lowest rating in Grossman’s 26 career starts.  Whoa Nelly!  Isn’t it time?  Isn’t it time for Brian Griese.  If not now, when?

4.  I’m coming for you man.  My style is impetuous.  My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious.  I want your heart.  I want to eat his children.  Praise be to Allah!  Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson pleaded guilty Monday to charges of drug possession and driving under the influence stemming from a traffic stop last year as he was leaving a nightclub.  Oh how the mighty have fallen.

5.  Queens is burning.  Do the Metropolitans want to win this thing?  It sure doesn’t look like it.  New York’s magic number remained at five and its lead in the division dropped to two games over idle Philadelphia.  I still think the Mets are the cream of the NL, but geez.  Yesterday’s drubbing at the hands of the lowly Washington Nationals was their fourth straight loss at Shea and fifth in their last six home games.  That’s no way to win a pennant.  No way at all.  The Fighting Phills open a three-game series with Atlanta tonight. The Mets have allowed Philadelphia to stay in the race, making these final six games meaningful.  It’s gettin’, it’s gettin’, it’s gettin’ kinda hectic.

6.  They won’t turn back because they wear the Silver and Black.  Now, JaMarcus Russell wears the Silver and Black too.  JaMarcus Russell was just added to the Raiders roster.  Furthermore, Josh McCown’s status is in doubt due to a sore foot.  Don’t look now, but the J-Rock era in Oakland is fast approaching.

7.  Can anybody beat the Patriots?  Anybody?  Week nine is looming larger than ever.  The Bengals are up next.  Up next without the services of Rudi Johnson.  This is what the Patriots are going to do to the Bengals next week:

8.  Operation Raw Deal.  In a four-day series of daylight raids that ended Sunday, Drug Enforcement Administration agents shut down 26 underground steroid labs and made more than 50 arrests across the country, capping what agents are calling the largest performance-enhancing drug crackdown in U.S. history.  This does not bode well. 

9.  DeAngelo Hall lost his damned mind.  Hall’s loss of composure on the field helped lead to the Atlanta Falcons’ third straight loss.  His tirade on the sideline could cost him a fine or a suspension.  With all that’s going on down in Hot ‘Lanta.  I’d let this cat go.  The Falcons won’t. 

10.  No more Deuce.   Preliminary diagnosis on running back Deuce McAllister is that he has a torn ACL in his left knee and will likely miss the remainder of the season.  Fantasy owners and Saints fans alike cannot be happy.  Hope you have your paper bags handy.  Now we’ll see what St. Reggie is truly made of.

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

Soxual Healing

By: josh q. public on: Friday, September 21, 2007 @3:03 pm

Soxual Healing 

Take it easy, take it easy.  Don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy.  -EaglesSoxual Healing

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Looks like the Sox are packing it in.  Off the attacking it in.  Hit the sacking it in.  Can’t say as I blame them.  Can’t say as I like it.  I’m with Herm on this one.  This is what’s great about sports.  This is what the greatest thing about sports is.  You play to win the game.  Hello?  You play to win the game.  You don’t play it to just play it.  That’s the great thing about sports: you play to win, and I don’t care if you don’t have any wins.  You go play to win.  When you start tellin’ me it doesn’t matter, then retire.  Get out!  ‘Cause it matters. 

It matters to me too, Herm.  It matters to me, more than most.  But you know what matters to me more.  Winning the playoffs.  Winning the World Series.  The whole shebang.  When all is said and done, it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got them rings.  Doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wah.  So, if that means resting some cats, so be it.  Get your pitching staff in order.  Rest Manny.  Rest Okajima.  Rest the Greek of God Walks.  Rest D-Nice.  Gy-ro-mite!  Rest Tek. Rest Big Papi.  Rest ‘em all.  Rest ‘em all so they’re ready.  Ready, set, go cat go!  Ready Teddy.  I’m ready ready ready to rock ‘n’ roll! 

The Sox will be ready to rock ‘n’ roll.  Three is a magic number.  Yes it is, it’s a magic number.  Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity you get three as a magic number.  Three is the magic number for the playoffs.  I’m not saying I don’t want the Sox to win this thing.  Because, I do.  I’m not saying I don’t think they can win this thing.  Because, I do.  I still say they win it by three games.  I’m just saying they don’t have to.  Know this sports fans:  The New York Metropolitans were the only team last year to win a series with the home field advantage.  The only team.  So as nice as it sounds, it ain’t all that important. 

The Red Sox are still the best team in baseball.  The Red Sox still have the best starting pitching in baseball.  The Red Sox still have the best closer in baseball.  The Red Sox still have Manny and Papi.  The Red Sox still have some young hungry kids in Ellsbury, Pedroia, Lester and Buchholz.  The Red Sox will still wake the damn Bambino and drill him in his ass.  So every body just settle the heck down.  Roll Sox roll! 

PS:  Bob Ryan can blow it out his ear.

Public Acknowledgements:  Herm Edwards, Cab Calloway, Little Richard, Schoolhouse Rock and Pedro Martinez

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Red Sox: When The Tough Get Going

By: josh q. public on: Thursday, September 20, 2007 @4:27 pm

Red Sox:  When The Tough Get Going

Well you’re a real tough cookie with a long history of breaking little hearts, like the one in me.  That’s ok, lets see how you do it.  Put up your dukes, let’s get down to it!  Hit me with your best shot!  Why don’t you hit me with your best shot!  Hit me with your best shot!  Fire away!  -Pat Benatarred sox boxing gloves

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  What?  Oh.  You thought I forgot.  You thought maybe I was scared.  Scairt.  Blow it out your ear.  Blow it out your other ear.  I’m not worried.  I’m not yeller.  Old Yeller.  You saw what happened to him.  The sky ain’t falling.  I ain’t no Chicken Little.  No little chicken.  Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Finger lickin’, finger lickin’ good ya’ll.  I was busy.  I’m important.  I had stuff to do.  Mr. Big Stuff, who do you think you are?  HR Pufnstuf.   H.R. Pufnstuf, who’s your friend when things get rough?  H.R. Pufnstuf, can’t do a little because you can’t do enough. 

The Yankees can’t do enough.  Can’t do enough to take this thing.  Yeah, but you know what?  This one, this one right here.  This was my dream, my wish.  And it didn’t come true.  So I’m taking it back.  I’m taking them all back.  The Red Sox are taking this back. 

  • Taking this back for the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘48.  For Johnny Pesky.  Do it for Johnny.  Hesitated on the relay throw.  Not a truer Red Sox was there ever. 
  • For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘67.  For Jim Lonborg.  To dream the impossible dream.  To fight the unbeatable foe.  A mere two days rest against Big Bob Gibson
  • For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘75.  For Carlton Fisk.  There it goes!  It’s a long drive…if it stays fair…home run! 
  • For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘78.  For YazMVP Yaz.  Triple Crown Yaz.  Sportsman of the Year Yaz.  Yaz pops out to Nettles
  • For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘86.  For Big Jim Ed Rice.  He deserved this one.  Like he deserves to be in the Hall.  The most feared hitter for over a decade.  So the winning run is at second base, with two outs, three and two to Mookie Wilson.  A little roller up along first… behind the bag!  It gets through Buckner!  Here comes Knight, and the Mets win it! 
  • For the dreams that didn’t come true in ‘03.  For Tim Wakefield.  Tim Bake and Wakefield.  Guard your grill, knuckle up.  I ain’t the type to give up.  Put ‘em up, you ain’t tough.  Guard your grill, knuckle up!  He hits the ball!  Way back.  Left Field!!  Aaron Boone.  A walk off home run!!  And the Yankees are the American League Champions!! 

Yes we took it back in ‘04.  Took it back real good like.  Showed them what’s what.  Who’s the boss.  Like Chachi in Charge David Ortiz didn’t do it again, did he?  Yes, he did!  But that’s not enough.  Just making the playoffs is not enough.  Too much is never enough.  Keep on with the force, don’t stop.  Don’t stop ’til you get enough.  We haven’t gotten enough.  We need more.  More to even the score.  Storm the beach like the US Marine Corps.  Keep stepping on their necks. Show them no mercy.  Give them no quarter.  No mercy, take it while you can.  The Red Sox can take this, and rest assured sports fans, they will! 

Public Acknowledgements:  Fred Gipson, Beastie Boys, Jean Knight, Sid and Marty Krofft, Goonies, The Outsiders, Cervantes, Dick Stockton, Vin Scully, Naughty By Nature, Gary Thorne, Tim McCarver and Michael Jackson

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

In Case You Missed It

By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 @6:46 pm

Hopping Mad

By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 @6:12 pm

I have no idea what to make of this but:

Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!

Heisman Watch: Sugar Ray Rice

By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 @4:15 pm

Ray Rice Photo

Now you can’t catch me, baby you can’t catch me.  ‘Cause if you get too close, you know I’m gone like a cool breeze.  -Chuck BerryRutgers Logo

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  The Heisman.  The Heisman Memorial Trophy AwardThe Heisman Memorial Trophy Award awarded annually to the most outstanding collegiate football player in the nation.  Our country’s football salvation.  Leaving opponents needing cardiopulmonary resuscitation. 

I know.  I know.  It’s early.  So I gotta get up early in the morning.  To find me another lover.  Gotta find me a lover that won’t run for cover.  I found me one.  I found Ray Rice.  I found Sugar Ray Rice of the Rutgers Scarlet Knights

I understand Rice’s Heisman hopes went down this week.  Went down this week because Rutgers played lowly I-AA Norfolk State.  Went down this week beacause Sugar only got twelve touches.  He may have only gotten twelve touches, but the cat did score three touchdowns.  Scored three touchdowns on runs of twenty-two, seven and four. Scored three touchdowns and put himself atop the scoring leaders list.  On top of the world looking down on creation.  Looking down creation as the nations second leading rusher for yards.  The only running back to be in the top five in both categories.  Yowza! 

Rice will probably fall down the list even more.  He will fall down even more because Rutgers is off this weekend.  I get knocked down.  But I get up again.  You’re never going to keep me down.  You’re never gonna keep Sugar Ray Rice down. Sugar Ray finished with jaw-dropping numbers last year.  Awe dropping numbers last year.  Newton’s Law dropping numbers last year.  And he’s doing again this year. 

His 175-yard outburst against Navy in Week Two made him Rutgers’ all-time rushing leader.  Rutgers all time leading rusher!  And get this.  He’s only two games into his junior season.  Holy Mackerel.  And that’s not all.  There’s another all-time rushing record that might come into play next season.  We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.  If Rice has another season in the sun next year, the NCAA career rushing record could be his.  On Wisconsin, On Wisconsin’s Ron Dayne is the current owner with 6,397.   Rice still has a hefty 3,000 yards to go, but if he keeps shredding opponents the way he has been, it’s not out of the question.  Yes it’s early, and Sugar Ray Rice should get his worm.

Public Acknowledgements:  The Gap Band, The Carpenters, Chumbawamba and Terry Jacks

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

New England Patriots: Just Win Baby!

By: josh q. public on: Monday, September 17, 2007 @3:51 pm

Bill Belichick Photo

Are you ready?  Are you ready for this?  Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?  Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat.  Another one bites the dust.  Another one bites the dust.  -Queen Patriots Helmet

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  I got my Patriot hoody on today.  I’m circling the wagons today.  Waving my red white and blue flaggons today.  Doin’ a little braggins today.  Slaying some dragons today. 

Hey Patriots.  Wanna make all this go away?  Huh?  Do ya?  If you do, if you do, just keep doing what you’re doing.  Keep winning ball games.  Keep winning ball games in the middle of this shit storm.  Keep doing your best Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore impersonation.  If I say it’s safe to surf this beach Captain, then it’s safe to surf this beach.  I mean, I’m not afraid to surf this place, I’ll surf this whole fucking place!  Charlie don’t surf.  The Patriots surf.  Surfed last night all right.   I love the smell of napalm in the morning.  The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill.  Smelled like… victory.   Smells like victory this morning.  Huh?  Don’t it? 

Victory.  Victory against public enemy number one.  Victory against that Carlton looking touchdown maker.  Victory against that Carlton looking record breaker.  Victory against that Carlton looking dirty rotten snaker.  Mr. Everything.  Mr. Nothing.  Mr. Nothing, eighteen measly carries.  Mr. Nothing, forty-three paltry yards.  I don’t hear you running your mouth now.  You talk too much.  You never shut up.  I said you talk too much.  Homeboy you never shut up.  You talk about people, you don’t even know.  And you talk about places, you never go.  Like the Super Bowl.  Like the AFC Chapionship Game

The Patriots looked unstoppable last night.  Like David Dunn.  Unbreakable.  Unshakable.  Takes the cakable.  And they’re gonna have to keep playing like that if they want this whole Signalgate nonsense to end.  Hey Randy Moss.  Wanna shut up all those nay sayers.  Huh?  Do ya?  Keep doing what you’re doing.  Keep doing your best, well, Randy Moss impersonation.  Circa 2003.  Circa 2003 when Moss became the first wide receiver in history to play more than twelve games while averaging over 100 yards and one touchdown per contest.  Yowza!  Finishing with 111 receptions for 1,632 yards and 17 touchdowns for the season.  Double yowza!  Eight grabs for 105 yards last night.  Eight grabs for 105 yards including a twenty-three and a twenty-four TD last night.  Who’s a punk now? 

The San Diego Super Chargers, that’s who.  The time has come.  You know, we’re shooting for number one.  With thunderbolts and lightning, we’ll light up the sky.  We’ll give it all we’ve got, and more.  With the Super Charger try!  They shoulda tried harder.  Avis harder.  Beat up on the same San Diego Super Chargers  who just beat up on the Chicago Super Bowl Bears

Hey Tom Brady.  Sick of your name being sullied?  Huh?  Are ya?  Sick of all those dopes saying that somehow Signalgate tarnishes your legacy?  If you are, keep playing the way you’ve been playing.  Keep throwing for close to 300 yards a game.  Keep throwing three touchdown passes a game.  Keep throwing to all your new weapons of mass destruction.  Keep throwing to Wes Welker.  Keep throwing to Moonshine Moss.  Keep beating the ever-loving stuffing out of opposing defenses.  Like you did to the Chargers.  Like you did to the Jets

The Jets.  Fredo Mangini the rat.  Who’s he gonna rat on for yesterday?  Who’s gonna pick you up, when You fall?  Who’s gonna hang it up, when you call?  That team is going nowhere.  Who’s he gonna rat on after week fifteen.  After week fifteen in Foxboro.  After week fifteen in Foxboro when the Jets get humiliated.  When the juggernaut Patriots, the sluggernaut Patriots, the snug as a bug in ruggernaut Patriots, take their fifteenth straight win.  So Patriots.  Wanna make this all go away?  Huh?  Do ya.  Just win baby!  Run the table.  Circle the wagons.  Slay some dragons.  See you in Disney Land bitches!

Public Acknowledgements:  Apocalypse Now, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Run DMC, The Godfather and The Cars

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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