Monday Night Football Fun

Sports is the toy department of human life.  -Howard Cosell

Public Service Announcement:  Ok here we go!  Can you smell it?  Oooooooh that smell.  Can’t you smell that smell?  I know, I know.  It’s only preseason.  It’s still summertime.  Time to sit back and unwind.  But here’s just a little somethin’ to break the monotony of all that hardcore dance that has gotten to be a little bit out of control.  Just a little football.  Just a little Monday Night Football.  Just a little Colts/Bears football.  Is it Monday yet?  Yes it is.  Yes it is, so here’s a couple fun factoids I found while scouring Al Gore’s Internet.  Make you look all Einsteiny.  Real smart around ye olde water cooler.  Show ‘em you’re nobody’s fooler.  Take all your friends to schooler.  Now, enjoy.  But don’t say I never gave you nothing.

Rookies Rookies Who Got the Cookies

Joseph Addai:  Addai a deer.  Far, a long long way to run.  Joseph Addai ran far.  Ran far when it mattered most.  Ran far in the big games.  In his four post season games, he set rookie post season records for receptions and yards from scrimmage.  He surpassed Torry Hot Dog Holt in receptions.  There isn’t enough mustard in the whole world to cover that hot dog.  He surpassed Jamal Truck Lewis in yards from scrimmage.  Truckin’ got my chips cashed in.  Keep truckin’, like the do-dah man.  Addai was truckin’ like the do-dah man.  His 143 yards from scrimmage in the Super Bowl last year was second highest in history.  Second only to Touchdown Timmy Smith of the Washington Redskins.  And not for nothing.  Just so you know.  Touchdown Timmy Smith’s 213 yards (204 rushing yards) from scrimmage against the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXII is still the record for anyone.  Anyone.  Veterans and rookies alike.  Not enough?  You want one more?  OK.  Addai was only the second running back in NFL history to lead the postseason outright in receptions.  The other guy?  Chuck Foreman.  Minnesota Vikings.  Chuck also set the then NFC record 22 Touchdowns in 14 games during the 1975 campaign.

Devin Hester:  The very bester.  The bullet proof vester.  The pound your chester.  Last seen in the Super Bowl.  Taking it to the hizzy.  Opening kickoff back to the hizzy.  Making folks dizzy.  In the post season, only three other players made folks dizzy like that.  Dizzy Miss Lizzy like that.  Ron Dixon, the Gee-Men.  Nat Moore, Dolphins.  Vic Washington, 49ers.  Devin Hester.  The shake and baker.  The takes the caker.  The record breaker.  Hester scored six TDs last season.  Three on punt returns.  Two on kickoff returns.  One on a return of a missed field goal.  He set or tied these records:

• Most return touchdowns
• Most touchdowns on punt and kickoff returns
• Most touchdowns on kickoff returns in a game
• Longest play

And because Hester did all this as a rookie, these are all the rookie marks as well.  Holy cow!  The one blemish?  Fum-ble!  Hester had seven fumblerooskis.  The most of any non-QB in the league.

The Quarterbacks

Peyton Manning:  We all know the 6′5″, 230 pound quarterback with the laser rocket arm is good.  But how good?  Last year in the post season, Manning completed 97 passes in four games.  97!  The old record was held by the Greatest Show on Turf.  A paltry 77 by Kurt Warner.  Last year, Peyton led the Colts charge to victory twelve times.  Win win do it again.  He did it again.  Five consecutive seasons with at least ten wins as a starter.  Ties the record.  Elway?  Nope.  Unitas?  Nope?  Montana?  Unh uh.  Triplet Troy Aikman.  Since 2003, Peyton has won fifty regular season games.  Ties the record for wins in a four year span.  That’s right.  My boy.  Tom Terrific.  Tom Brady.  Act like you know.  Know this.  Manning does not do it alone.  He has a partner in crime.  He has Marvin Harrison.  He has thrown 106 TD passes to Marvelous Marvin during the regular season.  That’s just about two times the next total since 1998.  Just about two times more than Culpepper and Moss.  Get the papers, get the papers.   Manning and Harrison own the Triple Crown.  Triple trouble.  If you wanna know the real deal about the three.  Well let me tell you, we’re triple trouble ya’ll.  We’re gonna bring you up to speed.  More completions, yards and touchdowns between any teammates in NFL history.

Rex Grossman:  Sexy Rexy.  I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt.  So sexy it hurts.  Grossman threw for 3,193 yards last season.  Say what you want about Rexy’s season but it was the second highest one season total in Da Bears history.  Second behind Erik Kramer.  Giddyup!  He did have his moments though.  Rexy had four games last year where he threw less than 200 yards.  Where he didn’t throw a TD pass.  And where he was intercepted at least three times.  That makes him the first NFL player to have four games like that in one season since 1935.  Yikes!

Other Fascinating Factoids:

Number nine.  Number nine.  Da Bears have drafted nine future Pro Bowlers over the last nine drafts.  Yowza!  Seven of those cats were selected after the first round.  Mike Brown, 2nd.  Devin Hester, 2nd.  Olin Kreutz, 3rd.  Marty Booker, 3rd.  Lance Briggs, 3rd.  Nathan Vasher, 4th.  Jerry Azumah, 5th.

Tony Dungy has led a team to the playoffs in each of the last eight seasons. Eight!  Hear that Ted Sarandis?  Only two other head coaches NFL history have done that.  Tom Landry.  Tom, in his fabulous fedora did it twice.  Chuck Knoll.  Steel Curtain. 

Public Acknowledgements:  Indianapolis Star, Chicago Tribune, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Fresh Prince, Darold Knowels, Grateful Dead, Beatles, Sprint, Marvin Hagler, Beastie Boys, Right Said Fred and Seinfeld

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Need More? Chicago Bears, Devin Hester, Indianapolis Colts, Joseph Addai, NFL, Peyton Manning, Rex Grossman