Guess it’s over, call it a day. Sorry that it had to end this way. No reason to pretend, we knew it had to end some day, this way. -Johnny Mathis
Boy oh boy! Ha ha ha! Does it get any better than this? Huh? Does it? If you’re a Boston fan, it does not. This is great! Great, I tell you. First the Patriots go out and grab Adalius Thomas and Randy Moss. Then the Celtics acquire Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. And now this? Stanley, see this? This is this. This ain’t something else. This is this. From now on, you’re on your own. Yup, from now on, the rest of the baseball world is on their own. The Boston Red Sox just made themselves the team to beat. Punks jump up to get beat down!
All I can say is, if you’re playing the Sox, don’t be trailing going into the sixth. Don’t do it. Don’t go to bed, with no price on your head. No, no, don’t do it. Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time. Yeah, don’t do it. ’Cause if you do, if you do, you’ll be trailing in the ninth. The Red Sox just ended up with the best reliever on the market. I’m all lost in the supermarket. I can no longer shop happily. I came in here for that special offer. A guaranteed personality. The Sox ended up with a guaranteed personality. The Red Sox just ended up with Eric Gagne. Woopy doopy! Go Go Gophers style. The best bullpen in baseball just got better. Things are going great, and they’re only getting better. I’m doing all right, getting good grades. The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades. How about that? How about this? This is what Red Sox foes will have to face in the seventh, eighth and ninth.
Manny Delcarmen, Hideki Okajima, Gagne and Jonathan Papelbon. Lawdy Miss Clawdy! Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
- Manny Delcarmen. A local kid. Boston Public Schools product. Delcarmen throws heat. Filthy heat. 95+ heat. Not to mention a nasty inside outside curve.
- Then comes Hideki Okajima. The bestest little surprise to come out of Japan since the Walk-Man. An All-Star in his first year. Allowed a home run to John Buck on his very first pitch in the major leagues. He then proceeded to hold opponents scoreless for nearly two months until the Yankees finally scored a run off of a cheap fielder’s choice courtesy of A-Broad spiking Dustin Pedroia in May. Okie’s just been lights out. Boom boom! Out go the lights.
- Next up, the new guy. Eric Gagne. Once the greatest closer in all of baseball. But then came the injuries. Then came surgeries. The doctors took out eighty-five percent of Gagne’s L-4 and L-5 vertebrae last summer. The doctors performed surgery on his pitching elbow last summer. And now he’s back. Back on track. Back on the attack like a power pack. So far this season, Gagné is 2-0 with 16 saves and a 2.16 earned run average in 33 innings. 29 Ks to boot. His fastball may not be as fast as it once was but his change up is still as gross as ever. And that spells trouble. Trouble, oh we got trouble. Right here in River City! With a capital T. That rhymes with P.
- That stands for Pap. The best closer in the free world. Wild thing. You make my heart sing. You make everything groovy.
Theo just made everything groovier. Roll Sox roll! World Series, here we come! How sweet it is!
Public Acknowledgements: Deer Hunter, Bran Nubian, The Clash, Timbuk 3, Little Richard, Little Walter, Music Man, The Throggs and Jackie Gleason
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!
Need More? Boston Red Sox,Eric Gagne,Hideki Okajima,Jonathon Papelbon,Manny Delcarmen,MLB
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