I’ve been first and last.  Look at how the time goes past.  But I’m all alone at last.  Rolling home to you.  -Neil Young

OK, here we go!  Tom Glavine.  The Mets’ other Tom Terrific.  When there is trouble, I’m there on the double.  From Atlantic to Pacific, they know Tom Terrific!  Everybody’s waiting for Barry Bonds’ 756th bomb.  Everybody’s waiting for A-Broad’s 500th.  Not me.  I’ll be watching the New York Metropolitans tonight.  Meet the Mets.  Meet the Mets.  Step right up and greet the Mets!  Bring your kiddies.  Bring your wife.  Guaranteed to have the time of your life.

Tommy Glavine’s having the time of his life.  Tommy Glavine’s on his way to his 300th win.  A milestone that still means something.  Something big.  Something real big.  Big Game Tommy has 299 wins.  If the Mets’ 41-year-old star lefty gets this win tonight against the Brewers in Milwaukee, he’ll become only the 23rd pitcher to ever do it.  After him, among active pitchers, there’s the Big Unit with 284.  But Johnson intends on having season-ending back surgery next week and who knows if he’ll ever return.  There’s Mike Mussina with 244.  But with the way Bullwinkle’s been pitching of late, I’d say, not bloody likely.  David Wells with 235 and Jamie Moyer with 225.  Time just seems to be running out on those cats. Running on empty.  Running on.  Running blind.  Running on.  Running into the sun but I’m running behind.       Read More »

I got so much trouble on my mind.  I refuse to lose.  Here’s your ticket.  Hear the drummer get wicked.  -Public Enemy

OK, here we go!  What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans?  The Big Ticket to the Boston Celtics!  That’s what!  Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face.  Brush off the clouds and cheer up, put on a happy face.  Yes put on a happy face Celtics’ Nation.  The Truth.  The Big Ticket.  Jesus Shuttleworth.  Can you say Hot Lantic Champions?  Can you say NBA Eastern Conference Champions?  Can you say NBA Champions?  I can.  And now, so can the Boston Celtics.

If this trade finally comes to fruition, the Celtics will be a force to be reckoned with.  A force to be wreckin’ with.  I wreck shop, now pull your leg I beg your pardon.  And rock a wicked rhyme like eighty-six at the Garden.  We wreck shop, you know we wreck shop.  You know we know we know we wreck shop.  The Celtics will be wreckin’ shop all right.        Read More »

The Sox Rebellion defeat the Yankees Evil Empire and celebrate to Tessie:

Peace out Yankees. Six two and even!

If You.  If You.  Wanna Know.  Wanna Know.  The real deal about the three.  Well let me tell you, we’re triple trouble ya’ll.  We’re gonna bring you up to speed.  -Beastie Boys

OK, here we go!  Has there ever been a more dour time in this Wide World of Sports?  Has the agony of defeat ever been more agonizing?  The Unholy Trinity of Barry Bonds, Tim Donaghy and Michael Vick have, as Commissioner David Stern put it, rocked our little safe haven to its very core.  Sports have always been our escape.  Our escape from reality.  But these three may have ruined that.  Back to life, back to reality.  Back to the here and now.

I cannot recall a lower point in professional sports in all my life.  Sure there have been scandals before.  Charlie Hustle out there hustling.  Superstars Alex Karras and Paul Hornung betting on football.  Baseball strikes.  Football scabs.  Hockey lockouts.  They all seemed to threaten the sanctuary of sport.  But this just seems worse.  Maybe because its all happening at once.  Maybe because these crimes all seem so heinous in comparison.  Maybe because of all the non-stop sports coverage we are fed ad-nauseum.  I don’t know.  But times sure seem really tough right now.  Ram tough.  Just cut the stuff, til you get enough.  ‘Cause we’re rougher than tougher and rougher than tough!         Read More »

Live as if your were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever.  -Gandhi

1.  Roger Goodell had the guts to do what Arthur Blank did not.  Michael Vick was ordered by the league to stay away from the Atlanta Falcons’ training camp until the league reviews the dogfighting charges against him.  Great move.  I love what this Goodall cat has done.  There’s a new sheriff in town.           Read More »

You hope that we are all with you.  And you hope that you’re recognized.  You want to go forever.  You see it in my eyes.  I’m lost in the confusion.  And it doesn’t seem to matter.  You really can’t believe it.  And you hope it’s getting better. -REM

The feel good story of the summer.  I’m sick of Mike Vick.  I’m sick of Tim Donaghy.  I’m sick of Barry Bonds.  I know.  I know all you Bonds apologists are saying, Public that meant something.  You mention Vick, you mention Donaghy, you mentioned Bonds. You included Bonds with them. You could have said anybody, but you said Bonds and them.  I don’t care.  I’m sick and tired and I’m not going to take it anymore.  Isn’t there anybody out there who can make us feel good again?  Why yes there is!  Jon Lester. The very bester.  The bullet proof vester.   The pound your chester.       Read More »

Rollin’ down the street, smokin indo, sippin’ on gin and juice.  Laid back.  With my mind on my money and my money on my mind.  -Snoop Dogg

Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go!  With Barry Bonds a few short hours and two big swings away from breaking the Hammer’s record, the nation’s mind can’t help but wander towards steroids.

I am not here to chastise Bonds.  I am here to clean up the steroids problem.  Forget George Mitchell.  Forget the feds.  It’s time to bring in the big dogs.  I am a big dog daddy.  Yea a big dog daddy.  Boys stand back and girls are gettin’ catty.  Something goin’ down with the big dog daddy.  It’s time to bring in Josh Q.  Public.  Yes, it’s time for me to get into the never ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way.  I have only one stipulation.  Just one implementation.  Just one rule for the detoxification of sports nation.  Allow me to test whoever I want, whenever I want.  I can do anything, right or wrong.  I can talk anyhow, and get along.  Don’t care anyway, I never lose.  Anyway, anyhow, anywhere I choose.  Whoever I want.  Whenever I want.            Read More »

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.  -Charles Darwin

1.  I guess it’s time for me to weigh in on the Michael Vick issue.  First off, I have never been that enamored by Michael’s game.  Is he exciting?  Hell yes.  Can he bring a championship?  I’m not so sure.  So, if I’m an owner of a ball club, why would I want a guy with this much terrible publicity swirling around his head if he cannot bring home the hardware?  I wouldn’t.  It doesn’t make any sense.  If I’m owner of the Atlanta Falcons, I let him go.  They stunk with him.  They can stink without him.           Read More »

Now we’re up in the big leagues, gettin’ our turn at bat.  As long as we live, it’s you and me baby.  There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.  -The Jeffersons

Ok here we go!  Rookie sensation Ryan Braun.   Tearing up the nation Ryan Braun. Milwaukee salvation Ryan Braun.  If you haven’t heard about him yet, you better ask somebody.  Heck, you can ask me.  I’ll tell ya. I’ll tell ya that since this kid got called up at the end of May, he’s simply been on fire.  And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire.  The ring of fire.  The 23-year-old Braun has seven dings in his last ten games.  He has fourteen bombs on the season.  My posse come quick, because my posse got velocity.  Tappin’ my phone, they never leave me alone.  I’m even lethal when I’m unarmed.  ‘Cause I’m louder than a bomb.  Braun’s been louder than a bomb since day one.  And that’s been good news for the Brew Crew.        Read More »

He’s so cold, he’s so cold.  He’s so cold cold cold like an ice cream cone.  He’s so cold He’s so cold.  I dare not touch him my hand just froze.  -Rolling Stones

Public Service Announcement: Ok here we go!  Don’t look now folks, but here it comes.  Here comes the boom, boomin’, bouncin’, stalkin’ much walkin.  Walk with the bouncin’.  Hit’em where it counts man.  Hit’em like a mountain.  Split’em have’em spittin’ up blood like a fountain.  Yup here comes the boom.  Boom boom shake the room.  Here comes College Football.

On Thursday, August 30, ESPN takes a break from Who’s Now and brings back the smashmouth.  Starting us off down south.  Bringing us LSU vs. Mississippi State.  I can’t wait.  The thrills, the spills, the spectacle, the humanity.  The waiting is the hardest part.  Every day you see one more card.  You take it on faith, you take it to the heart.  The waiting is the hardest part.  The waiting is almost over.  You know what else I can’t for?  Huh?  Do ya?   I can’t wait for Boston College Screamin’ Eagle quarterback Matt Ryan.         Read More »