All I know is what I read in the papers. -Will Rogers
1. Cole Hamels gave up back-to-back bombs in the first inning, only to strikie outie eight on his way to becoming the first National League pitcher to win nine games this season. It looks like our little boy is all groweds up. I said, no more shines Billy. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time, I didn’t go up, didn’t tell ya. I don’t shine shoes anymore. He sure don’t. Ozzie Guillen: “The kid is legit. He’s the best pitcher we’ve faced from the National League so far.” Did you know Hamels leads the league in strikeouts and homers allowed? I did. Now, so do you. You’re welcome.
2. Whenever I see Bruce Bowen knock down a clutch jumper or doggedly defend somebody I always ask: How did we ever let this cat go? Then I remember. Little Ricky Pitino took over, locked Red in a closet and then proceeded to destroy the Celtics. That’s how.
3. Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’, keep them M-Dogs rollin’. Willie Bloomquist singled in the go-ahead run in the 13th and the Mariners beat the hapless Cubbies for their fifth-straight win. All coming in their last at-bat. Careful Angels, here come the Deep Sea Avengers. Namor style. Coming at you like a torpedo. And just so you know, J.J. Putz worked out of a jam in the bottom of the 13th for his 19th save in as many chances.
4. The plot thickens. Just three days after C-Pep said he would pursue NFL Players Association intervention to help him gain his freedom from the Fins, the union filed a grievance seeking the release of the eight-year veteran. If there’s one thing I like as much as Yankees drama, it’s Dolphins drama. Oh ya, and Lakers drama. Oh ya, and Canadiens drama. And that’s it and that’s the only thing I need, is this. I don’t need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that’s all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that’s all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that’s all I need. And that’s all I need too. I don’t need one other thing, not one. I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that’s all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
5. Geez, first JR Smith, now Chico Corrales. When will these guys ever learn? You’re rich bitch! Get a godaamed taxi.
6. I didn’t have the ball bitch! No you didn’t! Michael Barret flubbed a throw from right fielder Jacques Jones in the 13th inning, leading to a 5-3 loss. The Cubs are 1-6 in extra-inning games, 1-5 at home. And Aramis Ramirez goes down too? What’s the over/under on another Lou Pinella meltdown?
7. Ho hum. Just another day, another dollar for the top dogs with the gold flea collars. Dippin’ in their blue Impalas. In cased you missed it, the Boston Red Sox still have the best record in baseball. Roll Sox, roll! What? You thought you were getting off Scott free? You thought I wasn’t going to say anything? You thought I said are you all right Spider? Not a chance.
8. Zeke says he wants Kobe and Jermaine O’Neal. Good for him. Who are they gonna give up to get those cats? Stevie Franchise? Starbury? The 23rd pick? Good luck with that. How does it feel to want?
9. More plots thickening. Michael Vick. OK, try to follow. It seems some masked men broke into the home of some high muckety muck Grand Puba of dogfighting. Who was that masked man? I dunno. Please, stay with me here. These masked men ransacked the house looking for one hundred large. Puba won said one hundred large when one of his fighting dogs beat a national champion. OK. With me so far? Good. When the dust settled, Grand Puba was dead from a gunshot wound to the leg. Police began investigating. They were running down leads in Pittsburgh. They were running down leads in Atlanta. They were running down leads in Los Angeles, Dayton, Ohio and even Ecuador. Now the kicker. One man’s name kept popping up. Elementary my dear Watson, Michael Vick. So now the Feds are now involved. This sure is getting good. Ain’t it? Huh? Ain’t it?
10. Yankees suck!
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Atlanta Falcons,Boston Red Sox,Bruce Bowen,Chicago Cubs,Cole Hamels,Michael Barrett,Michael Vick,MLB,NBA,NFL,Philadelphia Phillies,Random Notes,San Antonio Spurs,Seattle Mariners
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