In the southern part of Texas, in the town of San Antone, there’s a fortress all in ruin that the weeds have overgrown.  -Marty Robbins

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  I like LeBron James as much as trhe next guy.  All hail the King.  Sure would look good with a ring.  Look good with all that bling.  I like Steve Nash as much as the next guy.  Reigning MVP.  Dishing out dimes as easy as 1 2 3.  Or simple as do re mi.  A B C, 1 2 3, baby, you and me!  I like Baron Davis.  I like Carlos Boozer.  I like Jason Kidd.  Triple doubles.  Triple trouble.  ‘Cause mama never told me ’bout nothin’ like Y-O-U.  Bet your mama musta been another good lookin’ honey too.  Hey good L double O-K-I-N-G.  Well I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E.  But I like Tim Duncan best.  Playing like a man possessed.  Playing with a bulletproof vest.  Putting the rest of the league to the test.  Yes I like the Big Fundamental.  The big number-onedamental.  The big best player under-the-sundamental.         Read More »

Oh ain’t it funny how a hear-ear-eart that loved you one time could be filled with so much anger for you-ou and your kind.  -Ronnie Milsap

Public Service Announcement:  Ok here we go!  The drama. Oh, the humanity! William Roger Clemens.  The Rocket.  Yup.  He packed his bags last night.  Pre-flight.  Zero hour.  9 am.  Billy Buckethead.  Can’t stand him.  Hate him.  Hate myself for loving you.  Can’t break free from the things that you do.  I hope he gets pounded. I hope gets drowneded.  I hope he gets shelled off the mounded.          Read More »

Baby what a big surprise.  Right before my very eyes.  -Chicago

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Rookie rookie, who gets the cookie.  Rookie of the Month.  American League Rookie of the month of April.  Who’s got the woh oh oh oh, woh oh oh oh, right stuff?  Is it Delmon Young?  Is he the marshmallow fluff?  Is it Dustin Moseley?  Is he pitching well enough?  Is it our own D-Nice?  Is he leading on McDuff?  Nope.  None of the above.  It’s another Japanese pitcher we love.  It’s another Japanese pitcher I’m speaking of.  Oh oh catch that buzz.  Love is the drug I’m thinking of.  Oh oh can´t you see.  Okajima is the man for me.        Read More »

I got the skill, you gots to chill.  ‘Cause I bring doom.  I got the boom sha lock lock boom.  -House of Pain.

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Johan Santana?  You can have him.  Roy Halliday?  He can be your huckleberry.  Roy Oswalt?  Who needs him?  Who needs any of them?  We’ve got the best pitcher in baseball today.  We got Josh Boom Boom Beckett.       Read More »

try to gimme your money, you better save it, babe.  Save it for your rainy day.  I have only one burning desire.  Let me stand next to your fire.  Let me stand next to your fire.  -Jimi Hendrix

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go.  My Miami Heat took a beating.  I need somebody else to root for.  I need somebody else to shoot for.  I need somebody else to wear my new zoot suit for.  Why not the Cleveland Cavaliers?  Why not King James?  Like my main man Slick Rick the Ruler always says:  So off we go, let the trumpets blow.  And hold on, because the driver of the mission is a pro.  The ruler’s back.  Last thing I remember, people were saying LeBron couldn’t make his free throws.  Last thing I remember, people were saying LeBron wasn’t able to make the big shots.  Yes, yes, you had to be a big shot, didn’t cha?  You had to prove it to the crowd.  You had to be a big shot, didn’t cha?  All your friends were so knocked out.  LeBron proved it to the crowd.  LeBron knocked ‘em out.         Read More »

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more.  The Bloody Red Baron was rollin’ up the score.  Eighty men died tryin’ to end that spree.  Of the Bloody Red Baron of Californy.  -The Royal Guardsmen

OK, here we go!  Geez I step out of the room for a couple of minutes and look what happens.  I step out to watch a few Red Sox/Yankees games and this happens.  The Golden State Warriors are flapping the unflappable Dallas Mavericks.  NBA Action.  Courtside countdown.  I love this game.  I’ve been dying to write about this one.  It’s fan-tastic!  The Golden State Warriors are fan-tastic.  Baron Davis is fan-tastic.  Captain Fantastic.  Elton John style. Last I heard, everybody was Dallas Mavericking like this.  Last I heard, everybody was Dallas Mavericking like that.  Last I heard, everybody was Dallas Mavericking with a wiffle ball bat.  But, as the song goes, they’re on the run.  The cop’s got their gun.  And right about now it’s time for the Warriors to have some fun.         Read More »

 Clear the decks!  Clear the tracks!  You’ve got nothing to do but relax.  Blow a kiss.  Take a bow.  Honey, everything’s coming up roses!  -Mama Rose

OK, here we go!  Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay.  My, oh my what a wonderful day!  Plenty of sunshine heading my way.   Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay.  Oh my goodness.  It just keeps getting better and better.  I got a girlfriend that’s better than that.  She has the smoke in her eyes.  She’s moving up, going right through my house.  She’s gonna give me a surprise.  I got two girlfriends that’s better than that.  I got two girlfriends full of surprises.  Two girlfriends better than McDonald’s French frieses.  Two girlfriends that make me cross my eyeses.  The Red Sox and the Patriots.  The Patriots and the Red Sox.   City of Champions baby.  Titletown baby.  It takes two to make a thing go right.  It takes two to make it outta sight.        Read More »