Public Knowledge

Thinking is what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.  ~William James

Public Knowledge:

1.  Kobe Bean.  The Mamba.  First he ran Shaq out of town.  Three rings and run out of town.  Rocked this town, rocked it inside out.  They rocked this town, made ‘em scream and shout.  The Lakers have not won a playoff series since O’Neal was traded.  The Lakers have a 121-125 record the last three seasons.  Now that Kobe has ruined his team, he wants out himself.  Is there anything to get you to remain with the Laker organization?  No, Bro.  Is there a more selfish player in all of sportsdom than this cat?  No, Bro.  And they say Lenny Bias hurt the Celtics.

2.  A-Broad.  Ha ha ha ha!  Nobody loves me.  Everybody hates me.  I’m gonna eat a worm!  Why don’t they love me?  Because you’re a phony.  A-Broad:  I certainly don’t think this will be a distraction to our team.  Wanna bet? 

3.  Last month’s totals.  Mike Lowell:  .343.  A-Broad:  .235.  Mike Lowell:  Six bombs.  A-Broad:  Five bombs.  Mike Lowell:  Twenty-one RBIs.  A-Broad:  Eleven RBIs.  What distraction?  You’re my big distraction.  Or biggest companion.  I’m falling fast.  Like an avalanche.  A petite stripper at the Hustler Club:  ”A-Rod likes the she-male, muscular type. They brought me up to the champagne room one time. I spun around once and that was it.  I’m not his type.”  Ha ha ha ha!!!!!

4.  Those Juggernaut Spurs just keep rolling.  Keep movin’, movin’, movin’.  Though they’re disapprovin’.   Keep them doggies movin’ Rawhide!  Just smashed the Jazz.  Start the car I know a whoopee spot.  Where the gin is cold, but the piano’s hot.  And all that Jazz.  The Spurs are hot.  Tony Parker’s hot.  Tim Duncan’s hot.  The Finals begin a week from Thursday in San Antonio, regardless of who comes out of the East.  The Spurs begin their Championship run a week from Thursday in San Antonio, regardless of who comes out of the East.

5.  Is there a hotter hitter in baseball right now than the Greek God of Walks.  Youk!  Youk!  Youk!  Superstar hot.  Kevin Youkilis.  Superstar.  Do you think you’re what they say you are?  Grinding it out.  Working the count.  Fouling off  the tough pitches.  Making opposing pitchers sweat.  I want to make you sweat.  Sweat till you can’t sweat no more.  And if you cry out, I’m gonna push it, push it some, mo-o-ore.  Pushing it for a twenty-one game hitting streak.  Pushing it for nine consecutive multihit games.  Pushing it for a .358. batting average.  Pushing it to be the hottest hitter in baseball.

6.  Making me feel young again.  The Big Eunuch can etch his name in record books once again.  He won the battle with Jaime Moyer in the oldest matchup of lefties in MLB history, giving up just one hit in six innings as the D-Backs swept the three-game series with the Phillies.  Moyer is 44 years old while Johnson is 43.  And I feel old.

7.  Yankees playing scared.  Pushing the Rocket lift-off till Monday.  What a difference a day makes.  What a diff’rence a day makes, twenty-four little hours.  Brought the sun and the flowers.  Pure cowardice.  They’re yella.  Yella that Boom-Boom Beckett will smash the air right out of their big yella tires.  Yella that a Rocket loss to the Sox on Sunday night in front of national TV audience will shatter all morale.  They’re playing scared and I love it.

8.  The Giants held their third team workout of the spring yesterday, but they are still waiting for Jeremy Shockey and Plaxico Burress to participate in their first.   Just Gross.  Blame Eli all you want, but as long these two cats continue to do whatever they want, this team goes nowhere.  Not for nothing, Randy Moss was at camp.  Rings on his fingers and bells on his toes.  Say has anybody seen my Sweet Randy Moss?  Yup, at camp.  Where Shockey and Burress should be.

9.  Speaking of hot hitters, don’t look now, but here comes Gary Sheffield.  .321, ten Bombs and twenty-one RBIs this past month.  Think the Yankees could use him?  Ha ha ha ha ha!   Na, they got Giambi.  Ha ha ha!

Public Acknowledgements:   Stray Cats, LA Times, ESPN Radio, Gwen Stefani, NY Daily News, Velma, Buster Olney, UB40, Tony Bennett and Tony Orlando.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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