That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane. Lenny Bruce is not afraid. It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. -REM
Public Service Announcement. OK, here we go! Here we go Red Sox, here we go! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Like my main man Howard Cosell always says, the Bronx is burning! Yup, the bronx is burning. The sky is falling. That’s right Chicken Little, what your name is? Where you from? Turn around, who you came with? Pop something, move something. Shake ya tail feather. Shake ya tail feather, the end is near. And now, the end is near. And so I face the final curtain. I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.
I’m certain the Yankees are sunk. Titanic sunk. Edmund Fitzgerald sunk. Lusitania sunk. Andrea Doria sunk. Poseidon sunk. Bismark sunk. It’s a hit. Oh No! You sunk my battleship. The Red Sox sunk the Yankees’ battleship once again. Sunk it for the fourth straight time. Their batlleship’s now been sunk seven times in a row. Getting cut up like Vincent Van Gough. So sit back and enjoy the show. I enjoyed the show last night.
- I enjoyed Matsuzaka, Matsuzaka, Matsuzaka. The new king of ole Fenway Pahka. Beating the Bombers twice in six days. Double your pleasure. Double your fun.
- I enjoyed watching the Greek God of Walks go yard.
- I enjoyed watching Yankee fans get so excited that they just can’t hide it. They were about to lose control and I think I like it.
I like these never say die Sox. These rally cry Sox. Sweet as apple pie Sox. Julio Lugo was sweet. Julio Lugo couldn’t be beat. Julio Lugo tough as concrete. Tough with the bomb. Tough with the bomb, three ribbies. a double and a stolen base.
You know who wasn’t tough? Wasn’t tough enough? Who wasn’t rough enough? Who didn’t have the wah oh oh oh oh, wah oh oh oh, the right stuff? Little Andy Petite. That’s who. That’s who caused a hullabaloo. That’s who got muscled into. Petite allowed five runs, six hits and five walks in 4 2/3 innings. Ha ha ha! That makes eleven times that New York’s starters failed to pitch five innings.
You know who else got muscled into? Huh? Do ya? Big Mo. Big Mo, coming up small. Big Mo, tossing up the big meatball. Mama mia, that’s a spicey meatball. Tossed up a spicey meatball to Mike Lowell. Tossed up a spicey meatball to Jason Varitek. Tossed up a spicey meatball to Coconut Crisp. Tossed up four runs worth of spicey meatballs. It’s a hit. Oh No! You sunk my battleship! Roll Sox roll, baby! Roll Sox roll!
Public Acknowledgements: Gordon Lightfoot, Sex Pistols, Wrigley’s Gum, Milton Bradley, Pointer Sisters, Alka Seltzer, Associated Press and the Elias Sports Bureau.
Peace out homies. Sox Two and Even!
PS: Jon Lester pitched five shutout innings for Triple-A Pawtucket. Roll Sox roll.
PSS: For the eighth straight game, Yankees pitchers allowed six-or-more runs. It’s the first time since 1933 that the Yankees have permitted six-or-more runs in each of eight consecutive games. Ha ha ha!
Need More? Andy Pettitte,Boston Red Sox,Mariano Rivera,MLB,New York Yankees
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