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Shawne Merriman: Steroids and the Pro Bowl

By: josh q. public on: Thursday, January 4, 2007 @3:27 pm

Shawne Merriman: Steroids and the Pro Bowl

No blogger can blog quite like I can.  Ill take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand.  -LL Cool J

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  I don’t get it.  I just don’t get it.  How does this cat get a free pass?  Lights Out.  Lights Out Shawne Merriman.       

So there I am, reading my brand spanking new Sports Illustrated.  Minding my own business.  Not bothering anybody.  I see Dr. Z’s NFL All-Pro picks.  OK.  I immediately start looking for Patriots.  I figure at least Richard Seymour’s gotta be there.  Right?  Wrong. 

OK.  No worries.  Whateva.  But wait.  What’s this?  Shawne Merriman?  Super-charged Shawne Merriman?  You picked this guy?  How?  How in God’s name, with any conscience, can you pick this guy?  You got a lot of splaining to do Lucy

I know he’s good.  I know he had three sacks and an interception in his first two games.  I know he went on to record 8.5 sacks and made ESPN’s midseason all-pro team.  I know his Light Out dance is fun to watch.  I know he has four forced fumbles.  I know he forces offenses to scheme around him.  I know he bats down passes like nobody’s business.  I know he ended up leading the league in sacks with seventeen.  I know he’s a monster out there.  Putting fear into the hearts of men.  I know all that.  But, we all know how did he did it. 

He did it using performance enhancing drugs.  Illegal performance enhancing drugs.  Illegal in the NFL.  Illegal on the street.  Merriman’s positive test was “definitely for steroids…not one of those supplement deals,” said a source with knowledge of Merriman’s suspension.  Merriman failed a drug test. Failed, and tested positive for the steroid Nandrolone. Pure and simple. Simple Simon met a pie man.

Failing a steroid test by all accounts, is tantamount to cheating.  It’s that Simple Simon.  He cheated. He’s a cheater.  Chester the Cheetah.  Nandrolone is a steroid you shoot into your body with a needle.  It has been the juice of choice for body builders and athletes for years.   As a result, Merriman tainted the outcome of every football game he took part in.  Every single one.  Jason Taylor:  “You really shouldn’t be able to fail a test like that and play in this league, to begin with.  To make the Pro Bowl and all the other awards, I think you’re walking a fine line of sending the wrong message.” 

I couldn’t agree more.  All those sacks Merriman recorded are just as jilted as all those home runs Barry and Mark McGwire put up.  Yet Bonds and Big Mac are vilified, and Shawne Merriman is on his way to Hawaii.  Perhaps with a Defensive Player of the Year Award in tow.  In just makes no sense.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

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Need More? Barry Bonds,Mark McGwire,NFL,San Diego Chargers,Shawne Merriman,Steroids

2!
  1. 1
    Anonymous Says:

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  2. 2
    Anonymous Says:

    ur mom is fatter