I got a hundred guns, a hundred clips, I’m from New York, New York.  I got a semi-automatic that spits next time if you talk, you talk.  -Ja Rule

Public Service Announcement:  Ok here we go!  What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans?  To my Harlem crew, my Brooklyn crew, true New Yorkers wear orange and blue. How ’bout them Knicks?  Now first off, you should know, I’m no Knick fan.  In fact, I loathe Zeke more than any other figure in the NBA.  His Bad Boy comments about Larry Legend are unpardonable.  And know this, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.  I’ll say it ’till the cows come home.  I’ll say it, then I’ll say shalom.  I’ll say it from here to the Astrodome.  If Kevin McHale doesn’t get hurt, there are no Bad Boys.  There.  I said it.  Having said it, I’ll say this:  Zeke is making this a fun team to watch.  Who woulda thunk?  Isiah ruined the CBA.  Isiah ruined the Raptors.  Isiah ruined the Pacers.  Isiah, bizzaro Midas.  I thought Isiah was going to ruin the Knicks too.  Run them into the ground.  It sure looked like it.  Didn’t it?  But here we are.  Here we are forty-six games into this season and Thomas only needs five more wins to better Larry Brown’s efforts of last year.  How did this happen?  How did they beat the Nuggets, the Cavaliers and the Pacers on the road?  How did they beat the Pistons, the Bulls and Miami at home?  Huh? How?  Tell me.  I need to know.       Read More »

Spanish bombs, yo te quiero infinito.  Yo te quiero, oh mi corazon.  -The Clash

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  All right ramblers, let’s get rambling. Finally.  After losing ten straight, there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel.  Finally something to get excited about. Pau Gasol.  Standing tall.  The most wanted man in basketball.  On the trading block.   Rumor has it, he’s going to the Bulls.  Rumor has it, he’s going to the Cavs.  Rumor has it, he’s going to the Nets.  Rumor has it, he’s going to the Celtics.  The Celtics?  Really?  That’s what Peter Vescey says.  That’s what Peter Vescey says in Hoop Du Jour.          Read More »

G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten, so they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan.  Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head.  Bobby OD’d on Drano on the night that he was wed.  They were two more friends of mine.  Two more friends that died.  -Jim Caroll Band

Public Service Announcement: OK here we go.  Live from the squared circle. Bringing you the cheese like Urkel.  I was saddened when I heard Bam Bam Bigelow died the other day. Found dead in his Florida home, passed away from an unknown cause at age 45.  I used to be a WWF freak.  Aaahh Freak out!  Le Freak, C’est Chic.  Couldn’t get enough.  Couldn’t get enough of Rowdy Roddy Piper smashing coconuts over the Superfly’s noggin.  Couldn’t get enough of George the Animal Steel eating the turnbuckle like a fat kid eating cake.  Couldn’t get enough of Superstar Billy Graham.  The man of the hour, the man with the power, too sweet to be sour!  Couldn’t get enough of the Macho Man.  Ooh yaa!  There was the Iron Sheik Camel Clutching.  There was Sgt. Slaughter Cobra Clutching.  There was Greg the Hammer Figure-Four Leg-Locking.  The Moondogs: Rex and Spot.  The Bulldogs: Davey Boy and Kid Dynamite.  The Valiant Brothers.  The Hart Foundation.  The Maginificent Muraco.  Jesse the Body.  All of it.  And then there was Bam Bam Bigelow.          Read More »

Got a punch to crunch, cold munch for lunch.  Not Grady or the lady from the Brady Bunch.  -Run DMC

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Too soon?  Too soon to make my pick?  Too much is never enough.  Super Sunday.  Super fun day.  Super more fun than Tank Johnson’s submachine gunday.  This it.  This is it, the night of nights.  This is it, we’ll hit the heights. And oh what heights we’ll hit.  On with the show, this is it.  Bugs Bunny style.  Who to pick?  Who to pick?  That’s the question.  Who to pick?  Survey says:  The Bears.             Read More »

Don’t call it a comeback.  I been here for years.  Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear.  -LL Cool J

Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go!  Look who’s back, back again. Shaq is back, tell a friend. Just when you thought it was safe to go outside again.  Just when you thought it was safe, here he comes.  Here comes the King.  Here comes the big number one.  Shaquille O’Neal is here, he’s second to none.  When you say Shaq, you’ve said it all.  When you say Shaq, you’ve said it all.  Careful.  Careful out there.  Careful everybody.  I know.  Out of sight, out of mind.  The Big Aristotle was out of sight.  The Big Aristotle was out of mind.  The Miami Heat were out of sight.  The Miami Heat were out of mind.  Well, he’s back.  He’s back and he’s still outta sight.  Outta sight, Daddy-O.  Outta sight, Shaq Daddy-O.   Can you dig it? Sure he played limited minutes last night.  Sure the Heat still lost to the Pacers last night.  But the shape of the NBA changed last night.         Read More »

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.  -Vince Lombardi

Public Knowledge:

1.  Tamerlane Lincoln Kennedy. You remember him.  Lincoln Kennedy of the Oakland Raiders?  Offensive tackle.  Part of the 12-0 National Champion Washington Huskies in 1991.  Two time Pro Bowler.  The Oval Office.  Retired in 2004.  Well, he’s baaack.  Playing for the Dallas Desparados of the Arena Football League.  Must have run out of money.  Right?

2.  So Juan Marichal wants Big Mac in the Hall?  Isn’t he that cat?  Isn’t he that cat who did it like this, did it like that, did it with a baseball bat.  Did it with a baseball bat to John Roseboro?  Smashed John Roseboro in the head two times with said baseball bat.  Get the papers, get the papers.  He’s lucky he’s in the Hall.

3.  Is there any stopping this Suns Juggernaut?  Not tonight. Not the Knicks.  Shooting the lights out.  The Suns made 61 percent of their shots against the Wiz(48 for 79), their highest in any game in over seven years.   However, 20 of Phoenix’s 31 misses came on 3-point attempts.  On two-point shots, the Suns went 35 for 46, 76 percent. That was the second-highest field-goal percentage in NBA history on two-point shots. On March 13, 1998, the Clippers made 52 of 66 two-pointers, 79 percent.  Goodness!

4.  The Ohio State University is number six on the charts.  Number one in our hearts.  The Gigantic-O is starting to dominate.  One handed.  Wait till tournament time. Is that the team you want to face then?

5.  Bernie Baseball wants one more year in the Bronx.  Good luck with that.

6.  The NFL and its players union have agreed to more extensive testing for performance-enhancing drugs and have added the blood-boosting substance EPO to the league’s list of banned substances.  Things could get interesting here.  I have to believe there are a ton of NFL players on the juice.  How cool was the Jeremy Shockey helmetless play?  Walkie Talkie Shockey.  He walks the walk.  He talks the talk.  If you’re a Giant fan, how can you not love that guy?  But it got me thinking.  It got me thinking, when people start acting crazy like that out there, I’d give ‘em a steroid test right on the spot.  Merriman busts through the line and busts out the Lights Out dance.  Steroid test.  Reggie Bush goes…all…the way…and points at defenders before doing a summersault in the end zone, steroid test.  Drayton Florence Henderson head butts an opposing player, steroid test.  On the spot.  Every time.

7.   Michael Vick will not be traded and will be the Atlanta Falcons’ starting quarterback in 2007, the team’s ownership said.  We’ll see. I never bought into Ron Mexico’s game.  Exciting?  Sure.  Game breaker?  At times.  Super Bowl Quarterback?  Never.  He’s no Vince Young, I’ll tell you that.

8.  The arrest of Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Johnathan Joseph has members of the team Furious Five, embarrassed and concerned that guilt by association has ruined public perception of the team.  As well it should.  I’d cut this cat right now.  Stop the madness.  You have to start somewhere.

9.  I wish I was a little bit taller.  I wish I was a baller.  I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.  With a listed height of 6-foot, Allen Iverson became the shortest player in NBA history to score 20,000 points. That distinction had previously belonged to 6-2, We Are Marshall, Hal Greer.

10.  Is Rex Grossman the worst Super Bowl quarterback ever?  Vince Feragamo?  Trent Dilfer?  Champagne Tony Eason?  Billy Kilmer?  David Woodley?  Craig Morton?

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

I’ll throw it down your throat like Barkley.  See these car keys – you’ll never get these.  They belong to the 98 posse.  -Public Enemy

Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go!  It’s college basketball baby!  Diaper Dandies.   PTPers.  Maalox Mashers.  Dipsy-doo dunkeroo slam-jam-bams.   Call the fire chief cause he’s on fire!.  All of it.  It’s awesome baby!  Had enough of all this football nonsense?  Can’t keep it up for another two weeks straight?  You need a break?  You wanna talk basketball?  Is basketball your favorite sport?   Do you like the way they dribble up and down the court?  Kurtis Blow style.  Huh?  Well today’s your lucky day.  Today we’re talking about college basketball’s best kept secret.  Today we’re talking about the University of Massachusetts’ own Stephane Lasme.

UMass Basketball?  Really?  I thought they died.  I thought they died after Calipari blew town.  I thought they died after Marcus Camby went pro.  I thought you said are you all right Spider.  Think again folks.  Don’t be so Simple Minded.  UMass Basketball is alive and kicking.  Stephane Lasme is alive.  Stephane Lasme is kicking.  Yup, Stephane Lasme is his name.  Defense is his game.  Just been named Dick Vitale’s National Player of the Week baby!  Just been named Dick Vitale’s All-Human Eraser Team. Just been named in ESPN’s Weekly Watch: Five Your Should Know. Just been named ESPN.com Big Man On Campus.  Why Public?  Why him? Why?  Why?  Why?         Read More »

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.  ~Confucius

Public Knowledge:

1.  The Big Tuna calling it quits.  Good riddance.  I hope you had the time of your life.  No love lost here. I hated the way Bill left the Pats. Clandestine meetings in the middle of the night in order to be HC of The NYJ.  Doesn’t fly home with the team after the loss to the Packers in the Super Bowl.  A Superbowl his mind wasn’t on.  Know this:  Parcells has not won a playoff game in eight years.  He has not won a Super Bowl in sixteen years.  He has never won a Super Bowl without Bilichick.  Peace out homie.

2.  So it’s Bears/Colts huh?  I don’t even know if I care. You’re gonna have to give me a couple days get my head back straight.

3.  Oh boy.  Did you see that Knick game?  What a disgrace.  A kick in the face.  The Heat went on runs of 27-0 and 29-3.  Goodness gracious.  Can’t win like that.  No Shaq.  No Flash.  No excuse.  They should be embarrassed.

4.  When is Paul Pierce coming back?  The Celtics are utterly unwatchable.  Greg Oden?  Durant Durant?  Keep your fingers crossed.  We don’t need another Tim Duncan situation.  Do we?  Just keep ML out of the war room, would’ya.

5.  The Iona Gaels 0-18. Good.  I hate Jeff Ruland.  Which one was he?  McFilthy or McNasty?

6.  Ron Mexico, er, Mike Vick cleared by Florida authorities of any wrong doing.  Good job Mikie.  What do you need a secret compartment in your water bottle for again?

7.  Uh oh.  Who dey?  Who dey?  Who dey think gonna beat them Bengals?  Themselves.  That’s who.  Cornerback Jonathon Joseph bagged for pot.  Nine Bengals arrested in nine months.  Does Elias carry those stats?  I wonder what the record is?

8.  Invasor wins Horse of the Year? Really?  I thought Serena should have got that.  How much is she weighing in at these days?  220?  240?  Just asking.

9. Cook County Judge John Moran approved a defense request Tuesday to allow Tank Johnson to leave the state and play in the Super Bowl as he awaits trial on gun possession charges.  Just gross.  He faces 10 counts of possession of firearms without a gun-owner identification card; prosecutors say six weapons were in the home and the other counts relate to ammunition found there.  Less than 48 hours after his arrest, Johnson was at a Chicago bar when his friend, Willie B. Posey, was shot and killed. Posey also had been arrested on drug possession charges when police raided Johnson’s home.  I dunno.  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…

10.  Houston Rockets center Yao Ming recovering from a broken leg, said he will “definitely not” play in the All-Star Game but hopes to start on-court workouts during the Feb. 16-18 All-Star break.  Be warned Dallas.  Be warned Phoenix.  The joke is over.  The Jig is up.  The cat is out of the bag.  Yaoza!

11.  If Roger Clemens pitches in the Bronx again next season, the Yankees are ready.  They asked second baseman Robinson Cano to give up his No. 22 if Clemens returns and Cano agreed to switch to No. 24.  That’s a little premature, no?  Maybe they do get him.  It makes sense.  Who’s gonna shoot Andy Pettite in the bum with the juice if not Rocket?  Who’s gonna shoot Rocket?  See, it all makes sense.

12.  NHL All-Star game Wednesday. Anybody watching?  Anybody care?  It’s on the Versus Network.  Anybody get that?  Do you even know if you get that?  Do you even care?  Shame too.  There’s a hockey renaissance going on right now.  Five guys with over thirty goals.  Unheard of.  Crosby, Briere, Ovechkin all on the same line.  It looks to be fun.  Too bad no one will see it.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

We can be heroes, just for one day. We can be heroes, what d’you say?  -David Bowie

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  I’m over it.  Kinda.  I still haven’t read the paper.  I still haven’t watched Sports Center.  Still haven’t returned any of the phone calls.  Those horrible phone calls.  But I’ll bounce back.  I get knocked down, but I get up again.  Jabbar Gaffney got knocked down.  Jabbar Gaffney got up again.  What a play, what a play.  At the time, I was convinced it was going to be the next “the catch.”   At the time, I thought Gaffney was going to be the next latter day Patriot.   All tied up.  Tom Brady, under pressure.  Under pressure, this is our last chance.  This is our last dance.  Tom Brady under pressure.  Tom Brady cool as a cucumber.  Tom Brady finds Gaffney in the back of the end-zone.  Gaffney climbs the ladder.  He U-hauls it in.  He gets jacked out of bounds.  He manages to get a foot down.  Did he get it?  Did he get it?  Touchdown baby!  Touchdown!  Up by seven.  Woo doggie.  If the Pats win this thing, Gaffney’s a hero.  A Hiro.  A Hiro Nakamura.  Pats lose.  He’s not.  Just another great play to go in the annuls of forgotten great plays.  That’s when the light bulb went off.  The red light bulb went off on top of my head.  Jay Greenberg style.  What were some other great plays that were negated due to a loss?  Smaht huh?  Real smaht.  “I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!”  Fredo style.  So lets do this thing.  Would be heroes:                                            Read More »

You telling lies thinking I can’t see.  You don’t cry ’cause you’re laughing at me.  I’m down (I’m really down).  I’m down (Down on the ground).  I’m down (I’m really down).  How can you laugh, when you know I’m down?  (How can you laugh) When you know I’m down?  -Beatles

Public Service Announcement: Oh boy, here we go.  I’m not happy about this one.  It’s no fun writing this one.  I never thought I’d be doing this one.  But here we are.  Here we are.  Back to life, back to reality.  Soul  II Soul style.  Back to life, back from a fantasy.  How  did this ever happen?  How did we get here?  This is not my beautiful house.  This is not my beautiful wife.  I know.  I know.  I’m stalling.  I just don’t want to do this.  I don’t want to believe it yet.  Don’t want to believe what I saw on my television set.  If I were Russian, I’d say nyet.  I can’t do this without getting upset.  I’d rather write about the monks of Tibet.  Ok, ok.  Time to rip the Band-Aid off.  Let’s do this.                      Read More »