Gerald Green the Dunk Machine

Let me get some action from the back section.  We need body rocking, not perfection. -Beastie Boys

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Just a short one today.  My plea to the Boston Celtics.  Please play Gerald Green the Dunk Machine.  Please baby, please baby, please baby, baby baby please!  Just do it.  Let him run free.  Let him do his thang.  Let him tear it up.  Ever since the final few games last year, I knew something special was brewing with this kid.  From everything I’ve seen so far, this cat is silky schmoove.  His hops and athleticism unrivaled.  He’s electrifying.  He’s death defying, stupifying,  high flying, mortifying, satisfying, super skying, leaves suckers crying, no denying, egg frying, I ain’t lying.  When he tried out for the Hornets, Lord Byron had this to say:  “He is the best player we have brought in, athletic wise.  He is off the charts.  His vertical was by far the best of any player we have had in here.”  You’ve seen him.  You saw him in his first game.  Vegas Summer League.  Vegas baby, Vegas.         

You saw him dunk on the Clipper’s Mark Bortz’s head.  A dunk so disgusting, crazed fans bum rushed the table in the lobby.  The table where the guy had posted a sign which read: “DVDs $20. See Green’s dunk!!!”  A dunk so mind blowing, it brought out Knicks coach Mark Aguirre.  Aguirre:  “I’ve got to go see Gerald Green.  You know a guy is something when the players are hollering about him.”  You saw him in practice.  Brian Scalabrine did.  Brian Scalabrine saw the Dunk Machine standing behind the arc.  He saw G-Money toss the rock off the bottom of the 1986 NBA Championship banner high in the rafters.  He saw the ball fall back to earth.  He watched Gerald el-uh-vate from outside the foul line.  He watched as Green caught it off the bounce with his right hand, grabbed the rim with his left, and with a rim rocking, earth shocking, tomahawk, sent it home.  Gracious, me oh my.  That alone should make you want to play this kid.  Instant electricity.  Pump a little life back into the new Garden.  And you know that’s not all our boy can do.  You know his jumper is effortless.  You know his quick release rivals the Silent Killer, Michael Redd.  The other night against the Pacers, you saw him go three for four from beyond the arc.  With those ups, his shot is unblockable.  At 6’8″, this kid has a better handle than most point guards.  So Doc, Danny, nothing else is working.  Give the people what they want!  Give us Gerald Green the Dunk Machine.

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Need More? Boston Celtics,Gerald Green,NBA