Furious Five

Josh Q. Public:  Dont push me, ’cause Im close to the edge, I’m trying not to loose my head.

Public Service Announcement:  OK here we go.  First of all, you guys saw that yesterday, right?  Of course you did.  A-Broad and Jeter? Bah ha ha ha.  Bah ha ha ha.  Bah. ha ha ha.  Bah ha ha ha. Oooh. Oooh.  Bah ha ha ha. Ok.  Ok.  Ok.    That’s rich.  Yankees got crushed yesterday.  J-Wrong gets the tar beat out of him.  I wish we were facing that guy.  Just emabarrassing.  Not good form to lose those two in a row right before this. 1 1/2 back now.  1 1/2 is better than two.  Two can be as bad as one, it’s the loneliest number since the number one. OK enough nonsense.  Five really big ones on tap.  Count’em 1-2-3-4-5.  XTC style.   I won’t lie, I’m a little nervous.  I’ve got some butterflies.  But I’m ready.  I got beers.  I got food.  I took a 1/2 day today.  Mrs. Q. Public has a bridal shower Saturday.  The action starts at 1:05 PM this afternoon and doesn’t stop until Monday about 4.  At that time, I should be a frazzled shell of a man.  At that time, all you Yankee yahoos out there will see the truth.  At that time, the Sox should be up 3 1/2 games.  Yup, bring out the brooms bitches.  An unprecedented 5 game sweeperoo.  I feel this one deep down in my soul.  There’s going to be some great matchups, no doubt.  The Thrill vs. Bullwinkle.  This is the big one.  The really, really must watch game of the series.  Ace vs. Ace.  Mano y mano.  With all the chips on the table, give me Schilling any day.  He said it himself:  “I don’t think there’s anyone on the planet better than me in a game that matters.”  I have to agree.  Bomber fans know that better than anybody.  These two teams are so evenly matched its scary.  It comes down to the intangibles.  Those used to always go to the Bombers.  Not so much anymore.  Give me a line-up with Papi and Manny back to back, give me a win.  These guys are a combined .395 with 8 bombs and  24 RBI’s against the Yankees this season.  Better still, they are hitting .583 with 2 dings and 9 RBI’s against Mr. Wang, no offense.  Give me a team with the best defense in baseball, give me a win.  Let me go up against  A-Broad and his band of merry men, and give me a win.  Everybody keeps talking about the Sox’ woes.  The Yankees have lost seven of twelve.  Everybody from Bill Simmons to Bob Ryan to Mike Wilpon to Tom Verducci has counted these Sox out.  Not me, man.  Not the Public.  The only iffy match-up is Jason “please god, win one” Johnson vs.  Mr. Wang, no offense. Wang has struggled of late, been an ordinary pitcher on the road, and he’s a lifetime 0-2 pitcher with a 6.62 ERA in three career starts at Fenway Park.  Yup, we are at Fenway, and I just get that down home feeling.  The same one I got whenever Bird had his hands on the ball when it mattered.  The same one I get now, when Tom Brady has the ball in his hands when it matters.  The same one I got whenever Dave Stewart was pitching against the Rocket, oh sorry,  that’s a different feeling.  The same one I got whenever Marvelous Marvin stepped into the ring.  For that matter the same one I get now whenever Papi steps up to the plate.  I just know.  Sure Bullwinkle has been great.  Jeter’s being Jeter.  But to me, that’s all.  This Yankee team just doesn’t seem to have it.  You know, that elusive it.  Joe Montana had it. Michael Jordan had it.  John Elway had it.  Magic had it.  Papi has it.  Jeter has it.  A-Rod has the anti-it.  When the dust settles, the Sox will have the lead. It probably won’t decide anything. That may come down to the series beginning September 15th.  Until then, take your shoes off, put your feet up, and be a Sox watcher.  The American League East, where the men are men and the games matter!

Public Knowledge:

1.  I just write this gun thing, and now this.  Kevin Brown.  From the Macon Telegraph.  Brown’s neighbor calls the sheriff’s office.  Loud argument.  Kevin throws grass over the fence in neighbor’s yard.  Neighbor confronts Brown.  The two men bicker back and forth.  Boom goes the dynamite!  Brown pulls out a gun and tells neighbor he better not come onto Brown’s property.  See what I mean?  Stupid.  This is a multi-million dollar neighborhood.  Oh but he needs the gun.   “He carries a gun while strolling through the woods because he often sees snakes.”   Uh huh.

2.  Tom Brady.  In no way do I feel that Tom Brady is involved with steroids.  It appears he was looking for a place to work out when he called Anderson “five or six years ago,” but the two never got together.  Brady:  “That was the first of it and the last of it.  I never heard from him again.”  I believe Tom, but, this is where we are.  No one’s coming clean, as it were.  So, everyone’s in doubt.  If Tom Terriffic’s name can be thrown into this mix, anyone’s can. No one is safe.  Joe Montana played in San Francisco where Balco is.  See what I mean, it’s just gross.

3.  Tick.  Tick.  Tick.  Rumor has it, the  Big Tuna told a trainer to tell TO that he wanted Owens off the stupid bike and onto the practice field.  Boom Goes the Dynamite TO Countdown.  43 days.  Tick. Tick. Tick.

4.  Jim Leyland.  Manager of the Year.  No matter what happens.  He sure is old.  He can still my manage my team any day.

5.  McNair and the Ravens scare me.

6.  Brett Favre is all done.  I say by week 12 he’s not even the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers.  The Pack is just awful.  Their defense is simply atrocious.  Oh, you say they were ranked #7 last year?  Listen to Mike Golic:  “This is misleading because they were #1 against the pass.  They were #1 because teams were ahead of them most of the time.  Opponents  never had to pass.  They ran the ball all the time.”

7.  Heisman prediction.  Dwayne Jarrett.  WR.  USC.  Dwayne Jarrett lining up at wide receiver is simply unfair to every DB who lines up across from  him.  He’s just flat out the best athlete in the nation.  Winning the Heisman will be no easy feat.  The last WR to win it?  Desmond Howard, Michigan in 1991.  Before that?  Tim Brown, Notre Dame, 1987.  Before him?  Nobody.  That’s right, nobody. 

8.  Dwight on the Office is a riot.

9.   Junior Seau is looking to join the New England Patriots.  Great.  We need him.  Bruschi hurt.  Monte Beisel is just awful.  I’ll take Seau.  All in all, good news.

10.  White Sox/Twins.  Another big series this week-end.  Not nearly the excitement though.  Everything else is just the B league.

11.  Manning Jr. looked good last night.  11 of 14, 80 yards.  But was most impressive was the way he spread the ball around.  7 different receivers.  Very Tom Brady-like.

12.  Meet the Mets.  Carlos Beltran’s bomb last night was his 34th.  23rd on the road.  This matches HoJo’s 1987 team record.  Jose Reyes.  50th stolen base.  Second time in his career.  The only other Met to do this?  Mookie, ‘82 & ‘83.

13.  Evander “the Real Deal” Holyfield, 44,  fights tonight.  Didn’t he get thrown out of boxing two years ago for not being able to box anymore?

14.  My Staten Island Little League team goes against the Columbus, GA Juggernaut tomorrow.  The Islanders have won 6 playoff games in their final at bats.  Big Papi style.  Good luck fellas.

15.  The Big Mo Clarett thing just gets wierder and wierder.  According to Clarett’s lawyer, Maurice was bankrolled by an alleged member of an Israeli crime organization after leaving The Ohio State University.  He may have been armed to the teeth last week to protect himself against the gangsters. You can’t make this stuff up.

Public Figures:  Brought to you by the good folks over at Elias Says and ESPN the Worldwide Leader.

1.  Scott Kazmir struck out 10 batters and did not allow a run in five innings against Toronto. It’s been more than 40 years since a player pitched five or fewer innings, had 10 or more strikeouts and gave up no runs. The Angels’ Dan Osinski (5-10-0, just like Kazmir) did that in relief on May 29, 1964, against the Orioles. Kazmir is the only starting pitcher who has done that since 1920, the beginning of the live-ball era.

2.  Carl Crawford had three stolen bases for the second straight game. Prior to Crawford, the last three players to steal at least three bases in consecutive games were Luis Castillo (in 2000), Rickey (in 1983, 1988 and 1993) and Amos “My Man” Otis (in 1975).

3.  Good company.  Junior Seau  to sign with the Patriots. Seau could join the other 14 NFL linebackers who played for Bill Belichick as either their head coach, assistant head coach, coordinator or position coach and made a Pro Bowl.  The others:  Lawrence Taylor, Harry Carson, Brad Van Pelt, Carl Banks, Pepper Johnson, Clay Matthews, Mike Johnson, Chris Slade, Bryan Cox, Mo Lewis, James Farrior, Willie McGinest, Teddy Bruschi and Chad Brown.

4.   Davis Love III played the first nine holes at 6 under par. It was Love’s career-best score for holes one through nine in the opening round of a major championship. His previous best was 4 under at the 1997 PGA Championship (which he went on to win) and the 1997 British Open.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

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