I Love It When You Call Me Big Papi

The back of the club sipping Moet is where you’ll find me.  -Notoriois BIG

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go! First off, I admit it.  I was a little worried.  Things were looking pretty bleak.  The Bombers get Abreu and Craig Wilson.  The Sox get bupkus.  Boomer gets the tar beat out of him.  Things are getting hectic, I know.  But all of a sudden its the eighth inning.  Sox down two.  Everybody in the stadium knows Papi’s coming up in the ninth.  Everybody.  I’m already wishing away the eighth.  I just wanted to fast-forward the game till then, TiVo style.  Just begging Loretta or somebody gets on so Papi can tie it up.  It’s becoming expected.  So here we go.       

We get to the bottom of the ninth.  Cora singles.  The Greek God of Walks walks.  Oh boy, just two batters away.  Here we go.  Loretta pops up.  Who cares? Papi’s up next.  As he saunters to the batter box, you just knew it.  Everbody did.  Something was going to happen.  Boom.  Home run to deep center.  Helmet flip.  Gang tackle at home.  Fans going nuts.  Love That Dirty Water, baby!  Ballgame.  Are you kidding me?

Is there nothing this summamabitch can’t do.  A game he can’t win if given the chance?  There is nobody in baseball I want up in a big time situation other than Papi.  Nobody.  Not Pujols.  Not Choke-Rod.  Nobody.  Maybe if Bird played baseball, maybe.  Third walkoff ding of the year.  Seventh regular-season walkoff ding with the Sox.  Two postseason walkoff homers.  15 regular-season walkoff hits.  Five walkoff hits in the last 51 days. 37 dings and 105 RBIs.  Leading all of baseball in both. 14 homers in July.  Tied a Red Sox record.

Who cares if he’s a DH.  He is the American League MVP. Period.  You still like A-Rod?  Ya right.  Keep Abreu.  Keep Wilson.  Keep Lidle.  For that matter, keep Jeter, A-Rod and Giambi Juice.  We got Papi.  Who could ask for anything more?

Public Knowledge:

1.  Abreu, Lidle, and Wilson.  It sure helps the Yankees.  They may even make the play-offs the way the White Sox are playing.  Doesn’t matter.  BoSox are better.

2.  The best trade not made:  The whole Lugo for Lowell deal.  I heard that if that trade was made, Youkilis would move to third, and the Sox would have brought up Hop See Choi to play 1st.  Gross.

3. Tests show that some of the testosterone in Floyd Landis’ system at the Tour de France was synthetic and not naturally produced by his body as he claimed.  No shit.

4.  Avon Products Inc. has signed the Derek Jeter to a deal in which it will create a men’s fragrance called Driven.  It should be called, “Six Years Ago.”

5.  Chase Utley extended his hitting streak to 32 games in a 15-2 loss.  The Phillies suck without Abreu, huh?

6.  Poor Alfonso.  Stuck to toil away in Washington.  One double, two singles, two RBI, two runs scored, and his 27th stolen base. At least he’s on one 1st place team.  My fantasy squad.  A steal in the second round.

7.  Bill Simmons is going to follow Premiere League Soccer.  Good for him.  The Public will never sell out.

8.  Mark McGuire.  Hall of Fame?  I dunno.  Everybody was juicing then.  Pitchers, everybody.  So the playing field was sort of even, and he was the best.  Its very sketchy, especially when all of basebal, from the owners, to the writers, to the commissioner, knew about it, and profited.

Public Figures:  Brought to you by the good folks at Elias Sports Bureau and ESPN the Worldwide Leader.

1.  Rookie Josh Johnson allowed two runs in seven innings in the Marlins’ 15-2 victory over the Phillies on Monday, to take the NL lead in earned run average (2.52). Another rookie, Francisco Liriano, leads the AL and the majors with a 1.96 mark. This is the first time in major-league history that rookies lead both leagues in ERA at the end of July.

2.  Chase Utley extended his hitting streak to 32 games, having hit safely in all 25 Phillies games during the month of July. Over the last 20 years, only three other players had a hit in each of their teams’ games for an entire month of at least 20 games: Jimmy Rollins for the Phillies in September 2005, Shawn Green for the Blue Jays in July 1999, and Don’t Call Me Joey Belle for the White Sox in May 1997.

3.  David Ortiz hit a walkoff home run, the eighth of his career and his third in 51 days, to give the Red Sox a 9-8 win over the Indians. Over the last 10 seasons, the only other players to hit three walkoff homers in that short a span of time were Barry Bonds, juicer, (over 29 days in 2003) and Rafael Palmeiro , juicer (51 days in 1998).

4.  Ortiz has hit 21 home runs in 138 at-bats in Late-Inning Pressure Situations since Aug. 1, 2004. Over that two-year period, no other player has hit more than 13 homers in LIPS. Ryan Howard ranks second with 13; Andruw Jones, Albert Pujols, and Aramis Ramirez share third place with 12.

5.  Ortiz drove in four runs Monday, raising his total for the season to 105 RBI. That’s not only the most in the majors, it’s the highest total in Red Sox history through the end of July. The previous record was 104, set by Ted Williams and Vern Stephens in 1949.

6.  Orlando Hudson hit a grand slam off Mark Prior and a two-run homer off Glendon Rusch in the Diamondbacks‘ 15-4 win at Wrigley Field. Hudson was the first second baseman to hit home runs with runners on base from both sides of the plate in the same game since Steve Jeltz did so for the Phillies in 1989.

7.  The Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek to a one-year contract Monday. Hasek is 41 years old, but he recorded 28 victories last season, an NHL single-season record for goalies in their 40s. The previous mark was 24, set by Jacques Plante in 1970-1971.

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

Need More? Boston Red Sox,David Ortiz,MLB